Timeless Reflections!

Moved To Wordpress :)

2010-06-22T07:44:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends!

I have officially moved my blog to Wordpress!! I hope you will drop by at my new blog I, Me, Myself... Thanks a lot for the time and constant support here! Indebted to everyone of you! Thanks a lot :)

Love,

Sashu!

100 Things - A Tag

2010-06-21T19:45:00.000-07:00

ABOUT U:
1. What's your name→ Sashu
2. Nicknames→ Sash, CK
3. Homeland→ Kerala.
4. Zodiac sign→ Scorpio
5. Male or female or transgendered → Female
6. Elementary→ Abroad.
7. Schools → 3 schools
8. Colleges → Calicut Medical College for Bachelors; BITS, Pilani for Masters (current)
9. Height → 5.4" :(
10. Hair color → Brownish black
11. Long or short → Intermediate for now
12. Do you have a crush on someone? → Hmmm ....yeah, since the past few years!!!!
13: Ever been in love? --- I am in Love.
14. Piercings → Yeah! Ears and Nose!! I love it :D .
15. Tattoos → Interested ....Someday!!
16. Righty or lefty → Righty.

FIRSTS :

17. First piercing → I don' remember even! :P
18. First best friends → A handful of them!! :)
19. First sport you joined→ Karate?? I quit too soon though :P If not, Basket ball at school
20. First pet → None .
21. First vacation → Hmmm...Guess it was to India (I were born abroad) :D
22. First concert → I attended? Too late, In college I gather
23. First crush → In first Grade - Mike :D
24. Eating → A foodie .
25. Drinking → Naah!
26. I'm about to → Go out.
27. Listening to → Shakira

LASTS:
28. Last beverage → Iced Tea at Coffee Beans :P.
29. Last phone call → Mr. Pea in half sleep.
30. Last text message → To a school friend, after ages.
31. Last song you listened to → Behind Blue Eyes
32. Last time you cried → A week back?

HAVE YOU EVER:
33. Dated someone twice → Nope, unless you count Mr.Pea and me, we have been dating for years now :D
34. Been cheated on? → Hope not :D
35. Kissed someone & regretted it? → Never ever!!
36. Lost someone special? → Yes... It still hurts.
37. Been depressed?→ Mood Swings are my second nature.
38. Been drunk and threw up? → Naah!

HAVE YOU:
39. Made new friends → Yes, always do :)
40. Fallen out of love → Well.. Some days I do. And then fall right back in!
41. Laughed until you cried → Yes... Almost always wen I laugh :D
42. Met someone who changed you → Yes. A friend.
43. Found out who your true friends were → Yes, still finding..
44. Found out someone was talking about you → Yeah, I like that :P
45. Kissed anyone on your friend's list → Yes!
46. Made the first Move → Lol...For what?? :D
47. Do you have any pets → Naa...can't handle pets.
48. Do you want to change your name → Never
49. What did you do for your last birthday → Just the normal. Party with friends at hostel
50. What time did you wake up today – 7.30 am
51. What were you doing at midnight last night→ Talking to Mr. Pea
52. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Getting married? :D :D
53. Last time you saw your father → Been a month :( I miss him

54. What is the one thing you wish you could change about your life → Hmmm... Nothing really! Am happy with all of this :) *Touchwood*
55. Most visited webpage → Gmail
56. Bribed someone? → Nopez. I charm my way mostly!
57. Played with dolphins? → At the dolphin parks, yes!

YOUR FUTURE :
58. Want kids? → Absolutely
59. Want to get married ? → Can't wait :D
60. Careers in mind? → Scientist - Discover medicines!.
61. Settling in a Big Villa? → Naah, a small one would be just fine!
62. Day or night? →Night, no doubt!
63. What day is tomorrow? → GOOD Day :)
64. Challenges? → Complete my research in another 4 months time!
65. Drive with windows up or down? → Windows down, wind blowing...love it.
66. Scared of Death? → Mine - no. My loved one's - Yes!
67. Cook or Clean? → Clean
68. Lips or eyes → Eyes
69. Hugs or kisses → Hugs
70. Shorter or taller → Taller
71. Older or Younger → Both :P
72. Romantic or spontaneous → Spontaneous
73. Nice stomach or nice arms → Nice stomach :P
74. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive
75. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
76. White light or Yellow light. → White light
77. Trouble maker or hesitant → Trouble Maker.

HAVE YOU EVER :
78. Kissed a stranger → Not yet :P
79. Lost glasses/contacts → Yes, many a time - Glasses!
80. Found money on the road → No.
81. Sex on first date → Lol. He ain't that lucky :P
82. Broken someone's heart → Yes
83. Had your own heart broken → No
84. Held a snake? → Yes.
85. Been arrested → Hmmm... just miss :P.
86. Turned someone down → Yes
87. Cried when someone died → Yes ....
88. Liked a friend that is a girl/boy? → Eh?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → Of course !!! I do.
90. Miracles → Yes. I believe in them!
91. Love at first sight → Never.
92. Heaven → Yes

93. Santa Clause → Love Him :)
94. Peace in this lifetime → All around me.
95. Kissing on the first date? → Possible; but not probable!
96. Angels → Kids
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes. With Mr.Pea :(
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time in the past? → Can't manage one; forget more than one!

99. You will die Young → at heart :)
100. Certain things are so important that they need to be discovered alone --> Shhhhhh...!!!

Another Rainy Day...

2010-05-07T21:13:00.000-07:00

She had finally managed to get an off day from work, after weeks of hectic round-the-clock work at the hospital. Inspite of having made plans to sleep in late, her eyes opened to the six o'clock morn. Cursing her own circadian rhythm of waking up daily at six, she sat up on her cot. An entire day with no work seemed highly appealing. Smiling to herself, she walked out of her room. The quarter wing seemed empty, with everyone still in cosy slumber.

It was still drizzling; as it had when she had gone to bed last night. The rain sprayed itself on her as she walked over to the mess. A cup of coffee and the Hindustan Times paper in hand, she got back to her room. The raindrops fell at her window sill with a clunk, a voice she loved. Sipping the hot coffee, she skimmed through the daily news. Nothing ever interested her. As always, she tossed it across the bed, and switched her laptop on. It had been almost a year since she moved into this city. Kolkata boasted of colours, vibrant culture, fabulous cuisines and rich literature. It breathed a life of its own, and it was almost impossible for her to not fall in love with it. The melancholy of the Howrah bridge and the lushness of Victoria place; she loved every bit of it. It was as though the city read her mind, toyed with her mood and made her feel overwhelmed. And it had a lot many more reasons too.

While checking her mails, she found a name flicker on her chat messenger. Her fingers reached out on their own, typing out a hello. It had been months since she had seen that name in her list of online friends. He replied back. He had known that she had shifted to his city, she found out. But how, she did not ask. He spoke of his wife and family, his work and home and friends and life as such. She told him about her new research, her endless hours of hospital duty, her new life, her husband and lot more. He sent over his wedding pics, and they spoke about married life- about the good times and bad. Two good friends were opening up to each other after a while. A long while, indeed.

The coffee had dried out, but their conversation hadn't. She remembered the endless times she had heard him go on and on about his city, his Kolkata. She had known the nooks and corners of the city, even while she had never stepped out of Madras. The best sweet shops, the oldest of Indian Coffee Houses, where Tagore and his contemporaries used to have coffee and discuss literature and art; the dingy bookshops across the markets where first edition prints were on sale, unknown to most. She knew it all. She had always dreamed of being here and today as she sat in her room in the very same city, she thought of how ironical life was.

The entire afternoon was spent in the bank, and she felt doggone tired by the time she got back. The day had been kind of funny. She felt happy after her chat, yet a part of her bled of a hollow nostalgia. She decided to not waste more time, and began to surf data for her research. She was startled by a buzz.

"Hi. How are you?"

"I am okay." she typed back, wondering why he asked her so.

"But I am not."

"What? Why?" she typed out in a flash. She did not understand him.

"Everything was fine until I saw you today- your texts, the new display picture, and the new you... Knowing you are in the same city had been hard enough. I would see you online most often, but I'd always be invisible. I never wanted to let you know. Just one general conversation, and I am shattered, Yami. I know you are married. So am I; and I know I should not be carried away. I also know that I'd be back to normal in a while. But still, I don't know why, even after such a long time, you affect me. And, that too, to such a great extent."

She felt lost. She hadn't wanted to bother him, or cause him any trouble. It had been so very long, that she never considered such a possibility to have existed. Her fingers traced over the keyboard aimlessly. A pang of regret stabbed at her. She should not have initiated the conversation, she realized. Somehow, it hurt her.

"I am so sorry. I never thought it would be this way. It has been a very long time. I just could not not say hello."

"I am not blaming you Yami. It feels wonderful to know how you are, and what is happening with you. It really does. But at the same time, a part of me is reminded of what could have been, and what could not be. I am very much happy with my wife, my family, my work and life as a whole. I know you are happy and life is smooth, with your husband. I know the long distance might be hard, but at the same time, I know you are happy together. So am I. Life is good. Yet, today as you came in, fresh as ever, I feel empty. Maybe I am not as strong as you are. Maybe I never expected it, so the shock. I don't know..."

She sat back, a lump forming in her throat. She typed back: "I understand what you mean. Just as you said, we’ll go back to being normal, in a short while. It is just a moment of nostalgia, a rewind of those memories which never blossomed. Nothing more than that. So, please cheer up, and maybe another couple of years later, we'd talk again, and then we'd feel differently...or maybe we'd feel the same...But that does not matter. What matters are the present, the daily routine and the often boring normalcy of our lives."

"Yes. You are right. I am glad I have had those memories with you. I just have one regret. I want to see you once. Once in this lifetime. And at the same time, my mind says I don't want to; I should not want to, rather. And I know, I would not, too. Well...it’s been a long conversation. I guess I'd get back to the life, which I left behind, the moment I saw you online. Take care, Yami. You are special, and always will be."

"You take care too. I am glad that we both are happy and enjoying life. At one stage, I never thought you'd be. Nor would I. But time does heal a lot of wounds. Prayers, always. Until life decides to grant us a moment like this from the past, God bless!!"

"You too Yami... Wish I were as level-headed and strong as you are. You manage to move on so well. And I am so glad you do. Hope you have a wonderful life with your husband, and I hope you both get to be together soon. Take care. "

The green dot next to his name died away. She laughed at the irony of his statements, the irony of her life. Strong and level-headed; having managed to move on with life- ah, ironical. She shut her system down, and walked over to the veranda. The rain still drizzled on. She stood for a long time watching the raindrops die away, merging with the soil.

"Yamini, what is it in the rains that hypnotize you to such an extent?" she heard someone ask. Shaken up from her reverie, she turned back to her colleague.

"I have always loved the rains. I often feel as though the droplets fall for my sake... Just for myself...As though the rainclouds delve headlong into my thoughts, and rain my thoughts away... "

"As always, I cannot comprehend what you speak Yamini. Anyway, how is the groom-hunt going on at home? Did they finally find someone, who matches all your criteria?"

“Never."

She said no further, turning back to face the rains. And the rains lashed on in a new fury, as though the clouds were indeed reading her mind. And she smiled at the irony of her life!

- (c) Sashu 07 May 2010

A Call That Never Came; And A Call That Never Ceased To Come...!

2010-04-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

Ever misunderstood. Never valued. His mind whirled, pausing at these often. Why was it that she never understood? Or, why wouldn't she even try to? He had no answers. It wasn't the first week of their relationship. It has been years, and yet why did he have to go trough the same round of cajoling and wooing, all over again, every time over again? It irked him.

Yes it did irk him, to no extent. But, not for the hours wasted, and not for the silliness. But for the reason that she never could accept him, or his love. She needed him like a drug - day in, day out. Not that he complained. But a little space, some alone time; thats all that he ever asks for. But then, things turn nasty, with all those tears flowing in. And his heart would melt, as though he could hold no more. And no matter what, he'd be on his knees, begging apology for her mistakes!

Lame, it all sounded to the listener. Stupid, it felt to the passive bystander. But he knew, there was more to it. He felt responsible at times. Maybe he fell short of her expectations. Maybe she wanted more. A lot more of maybes surrounded him, strangulating him. Why was it that the male brain's pride of sharp objectivity eluded him, whenever he thought of her? He had no answers.

The cellphone rang. He picked up her call, his mind still wandering on.

"Eh? Hmmm...Yeah..."

"What?"

"Hmmm...What where you saying?"

"Now what? What did I do?"

"Hey...Listen..."

Slam! Not again, he cursed under his breath. He could not understand why she had to hang up on him, for no reason. What was it this time, he wondered. Should he call back, or not, he debated. The idea of listening to the same old insecurities and the same old complaints did not lure him. He reached for his lap top and decided to surf the net.

He had dozed off. Startled by the call, he reached over and answered her. She seems normal, he thought. Maybe I needn't remind her of our morning call, he said to himself. He tested the waters asking of her day. She seemed not to be in her usual spirits, he gathered.And he decided to hang up before the fire starts, all over again.

"Listen dear, I have my exams coming up. I guess I'll go learn now. Was sleeping. Haven't studied anything..."

"You okay? Call me if anything. Take care"

Having hung up without a fight, he felt relieved. Grabbing his books, he walked over to his room. He felt calm. She remained as a faint backdrop to his memory, while his mind wandered through the books to the friends and the many million things that mattered to everyone of his gender. He placed his cell phone at an arm's distance though.

He knew that call would never cease to come!

She smiled to herself, as she woke up to a fresh new morning. She leaned to grab hold of her cellphone, hoping to find his text or a call she missed when he'd called while studying late night. None. It did prick her a little. Always did. But she shrugged it off her mind, deciding he must have been so engrossed in his studies. And mollified, she dialed his number. The silly goose was still sleeping, she mused to herself. Finally he picked up. Sleepyhead! He seemed irked at her waking him up, that too after half past eleven. Abrupt; almost rude. She couldn't help show off her frustration. She hung up, listening to his promise of calling back once he was showered and all ready for the day..or what remained of it.

She danced her way through the day. Awaiting his call, that never came. She tried hard to resist the urge to pick her phone and dial his number through. Time flicked by. With nothing left to do, she rang him up.

"Hello..Why didn't you call back?"

''What? Hmmm...Yeah? Tell me..."

"Great. Now you ask me what? Wonderful"

"I can't believe it. Cant you even listen to what I am saying?'

"Oh..Forget it."

Slam! Her eyes watered, she felt disappointed. Maybe he was fed up of her. Maybe he didn't care anymore. Her mind speculated various reasons for this daily behavior. She could reach no conclusion. Maybe I am overreacting, he must have been busy with something, or there was some network trouble so that he did not hear with clarity; she debated with her conflicting thoughts. Maybe she keeps over-reacting, she thought. Deciding to give him some alone time, to cool off, she waited.

Time flicked by. She had found him active on his website an hour back. He still hadn't called her back. She decided to toss her ego out, and give him a call. He seemed guarded, she felt. She tried to ignore the cold aloof talk of his, and began to chatter away. But she was interrupted, almost too abruptly.

"Ohhh...Gonna study? Okay.."

"Aha...Okay..Go and study...No issues"

Slam! She felt the resentment rising in her.Sleep! Relax! Surf the net! Alone time! He could spend hours doing all that. But when ever she would begin a conversation, his mind would wander, and all off a sudden, he'd get this urgent need to study, to learn! She never understood that. She never believed she would, too.

She grabbed her copy of "Only Love" and read through...Her eyes never could resist peeking over for a text or a call.

A call, that never came.

He and She

2010-04-08T03:01:00.000-07:00

Her eyes kept straying here and there, as though searching out something, or someone. Her manicured nails were painted red, he noted, as he sat sipping his cup of coffee, from across the table. Fidgeting, she sat, lost in some deep reverie. He had the urge to wake her up, to probe what was wrong, or if at all anything was wrong. But, he did not. He was not known to be a meddler; and he did not want to start to be one now. He laid his cup down, scooped all the files and documents strewn all over the table, and started to walk out. She did not even notice him. He felt anger rising in him, and yet, he knew he had no reason to. So, he stormed out of the cafeteria in a hurry, letting the door slam shut on its own.

Shaken from her thoughts, she looked around. She realized that it was more than 20 minutes since she came in for her coffee. And not a drop of it was consumed. She lifted her coffee to her lips. Cold. She cursed under her breath, pushed the coffee mug away, and shrugged in exasperation. She needs help, she thought to herself. But who could she turn to? The ex-husband, of 12 years, who had suddenly packed bags and left, to Trinidad and Tobago? The mother who blamed her for every single mistake, every single step she undertook? The friends who never would lie for her, but would never hesitate to lie to her? Or her little boy of six, who'd ask her every night where Trin-dad-to-b-go was? Who was she to turn to? She swore filthy in her mind, for, she had no answers. Nor did she have any questions left, she realized to her dismay.

His Facebook profile stared back at him. The photograph showed him smiling away. Mockery, he felt disgusted at his own reflection. The confidence of the picture gave him creeps. He read through his self-proclaimed introduction, and he could not recognize the person who he claimed to be. Someone called out to him over his cubicle. Hurriedly he closed his profile, and turned to face his friend. "What was that dude? A matrimonial site?" his colleague asked; curious. "No No... I was just surfing some stuff" he answered, all flustered. Okay, I’ll believe it (for now), he heard his friend say, amused, as he walked away to his cubicle. Damn, he felt himself angered, though he could not place why he would be so. Soon his desk was piled up with files, new tenders to be made, proposals to be made. His mind no more had the space to ponder over human nature, or at the least, his own.

The clock showed 4pm. Time for her little one to be picked up from school. She shut her system down, grabbed her wallet and keys, and walked out of her room. She did not care to look at anyone one though she felt a hundred odd eyes piercing her. The lift never works, she muttered to herself as she ran down the staircase. Her car lay stuck in the parking lot, and she failed to hide her frustration. Yelling at the doorman, she demanded the other car to be shifted. The watchman obliged in a hurry, and finally she was out in the open. The Mumbai city traffic never disturbed her. She loved the bustle, the noise, the hundreds of vehicles, and thousands of people around her. Everything was dynamic. None cared to look at her, or judge her. Everyone seemed to have just one thing in their minds, to get going. She felt wholesome, she felt relieved and relaxed.

"Mammaaa...you are late by 2 minutes and 34 seconds..." her son hurled his diagnosis at her. She could not help but smile. She scooped him up in her arms, and safely laid him on the front seat. After tucking the safety belt on, she said "Awww...Mamma is really sorry. Mamma had so much work at the office. I wonder if a jell-o could make you forget this." Winking at his mom, he said "Hmmm...I guess that would be fine. But do not repeat it. Promise?" "Promise baby. Shall we get going then?" He nodded his approval and the mother-son duo drove away. Their laughter seemed infectious.

His eyes seemed to search for her. She and her once-bright eyes, and her infectious smile which had all off a sudden died away. He did not know why. Nor did he want to know. He had never wanted to be a part of her world, and still did not want to. But he never could understand why her sadness bothered him. It made him ache too. But he knew it made no sense. He heard a car drive in, and he looked down from his balcony. She was laughing; her eyes twinkled just as before. He saw her reach out to her little one. They were in another world; he smiled to himself. And then, he went back to his desk and hid himself behind the pile of files, the load of work pending.

She got back to her floor, her son safe in his crèche with his evening friends. Once again she felt all eyes on her, except one. She looked at him, wondering why he never looked at her. Or for that matter, at anyone. Shrugging her doubts off, she smiled and sat to work. And for a change, she worked.

He looked up. She was long gone. The office was empty. He walked over to her desk. It was shabby. It was sad, except for the couple of rare hours when she smiled, and worked, and created art. He flicked open the latest ad script she had made. It was the ad for a relaxing chair. It featured a boring man in a stingy cubicle, with a pile of files stacked on the desk. The man remained hidden from view, except for the fringe of hair on his balding head. His hands went to his hair in a reflex. No, he still had his hair. He smiled to himself and walked out. He called it a night.

The fan swirled on, and the sheets of her script flickered in the wind. Pity, he did not wait to look through till the last scene.

I call it mulling over

2010-01-10T04:33:00.000-08:00

Its Sunday, the 10th of January 2010. I am sitting in my hostel room. A cot and bed, thick blankets and a quilt. Jackets and sweaters, mufflers and scarves, gloves and boots - things that never had space for, in my wardrobe, or rather, in my life. Today as I sit back and think, everything seems like a contradiction to myself, or to what I wanted to be, and wanted to have. I would never say its sad, or bad. In fact it can be said to be way better than ever. But that doesn't stop it from being a prosthetic of sorts, if you get what I mean. It still hasn't settled in. It still feels like a part of me, sutured to me, and not borne with me, in me or by me. I ain't complaining, nor am I whining. I am just pondering over things. Just like that.

Pilani. A place I had heard of. A place that had been impressive for BITS. A place I never had any inclination ever, of visiting. And today, I am a part of this little town. I travel around with friends, I enjoy the lectures at BITS, I love the atmosphere here and I love the way I have fit myself right in. Yet, there's this part of me that says that this place doesn't really fit me. Instead, I have moulded myself to fit the place. End of the day, it makes no difference, I agree. But somehow I wish for a difference.

Friends. I have never had short of them ever in life. I am fortunate to carry with me, my best of pals, wherever I go. Despite the distances, and the marathon race of life, I know I can fall back and count on them. But somewhere along the track, I gave up on new friendships. I lost the base, I have let go of things, and people, all those little things that mattered at one point of time. Experiences bitter do change oneself, nay? As the saying goes, once bitten, twice shy. I guess its true. So I force myself to stay away. Be it from real life or virtual world. I have been hurt, and maybe I have hurt too. Somehow, I now believe in having a hand few of people whom you can trust your life with, than making a whole network of seemingly nice people. I know I may miss out on many a genuine ones. But I believe its not worth all the risk.

Cold. I may sound, don't I? Just got carried away. I know this isn't the right comeback write-up. But then, it ain't one too. I just dropped by my old space, to revisit some old memories. And then, I just knew I had to vent out. And I could have found no better space than this. So that's just about it.

A wonderful wonderful new year to everyone!!! :)

So Long...!!

2009-07-13T18:55:00.000-07:00

Its been quite a while that I've been thinking of doing this - A Final Note, a Goodbye. I have reached a stage of life where I have lost the inspiration to write or read or do anything related to it. I have joined for my masters. And I want to make the best use of the opportunity. And since most of the networking and blogging sites are blocked at college, I wouldn't be frequent in this space anymore, I guess. I am sad, for losing touch with people who have been a part and parcel of my life, all through the past 2-3 years. Also it makes me sad that I am not the same person I used to be. I don't miss anything by not writing. I don't miss anything by not reading. I don't miss anything of this space today. I don't want to forget anyone from this virtual world. And I don't want to remember anyone from this world too. Guess I need to come into terms with this whole goodbye scenario! Well, I feel that its one of the good things. Makes one realize how attached one has been to someone or something :)

I would like to thank each and everyone of you. Your comments have always been a constant encouragement for me to pen down my thoughts! Thank you, once again. Over and over again. Maybe I'll be back, maybe I won't. Either ways, I'd be happy. And I know, I'd fade away (or already must have) into the backdrop of some faint memory of your life, the virtual realm of it; to be wiped off with time. But am glad, I have been there, be it for a mere moment! That's what makes living all this worthwhile :) Love to everyone! Prayers, always :) God bless!!

Don't want to sign off with a Goodbye. So let me say So Long...Until we meet again!! :)

Letting Go Takes Love...!

2009-05-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

He had always been bad at keeping promises. And yet, I knew, he'd offer me the skies and fight the world, for me. And I believed every bit of him. But, one of those promises he broke- it shook my world.

Yet, technically speaking, I can't really blame him. After all he had truly tried his best to stick to his word. I have seen his struggle and pain, in his attempt to not fail me. But yeah, that does not stop me from being resentful. For, at the end of the day, I had to succumb to the biggest disappointment, ever. And I am sure, I'd never forget, or let him forget, either. Or, I wish it were so. Sigh!

Speaking of the very few promises he made ( Yeah, he was smart to know that he was never good at them anyways), there was the time when we had gone shopping, at Colaba Causeway. He had never been good at bargaining. He was simply too soft hearted and sympathetic. I had the flair for the endless bargains. And, I had made him promise that he'd not interfere with my bargaining banter, and not pay behind my back. Having agreed to this, we hit the streets.

It seemed as though it'd rain any moment. He wanted to get away before the rains begin. And I had other ideas. After all, its not every other day that you get to drench in the rains with your lover. Plus, my shopping was just getting better. The price of 750 rupees had just come down to 300. And, I was firing away to glory. But just as the first droplets of the rain hit our skin, he shoved some hundred rupee bills to the shopkeeper and dragged me away, before I could even respond. The rain did drench us. But all plans of a romantic bollywood rain dance had been washed away. We (to be read in singular) fought like cats and dogs that night, and a few many more.

Another time I had made him promise to come with me to the SidhiVinayak Temple at Dader. He being the self proclaimed agnostic (or was it atheist, I really never listened to him), had never relented to step into any religious shrine. But with much persuasion ( to be read as blackmail, dadagiri and sheer nagging), he gave in, finally. But with a lure, for sure- That I'd be clad in a sari, that being something he'd always wanted to see me in. So as per our plans, on the great day, I draped my denim-hugging-tshirt-loving frame into several yards of golden silk.Satisfied with the final result, I stepped out of home, hailed a rickshaw and reached the temple at sharp 7am. I waited for him. The time was 7.15, then 7.30...8... 8.30...9...Despite my 100 odd phone calls, none picked up. Furious, I hailed a rickshaw back home. And at half past 10, I got his call. He had Over-Slept. And, for the next several months, I made sure that he never got any sleep. So much for promises.

And the final promise he never kept...

Date : 17 July 2008.
Time: 4.30pm
Venue: Cafe Coffee Day, Vile Parle, Juhu.

I sat fuming. As always, we had made plans, and he was late. My mind wasted no time to plan and plot heinous punishments for him. And then, my cell phone rang. It wasn't him though. I sat through the one sided conversation, that lasted for a few seconds, but seemed like an eternity. The cell phone slipped through my hands. I didn't bother. All I knew was, I needed to be at Nanavati Hospital - Critical Care.

I saw him, entangled in tubes and devices. I met his brother outside the ER. He was not good. The accident had been bad. And there was nothing much they could do. And he had been put on artificial ventilation. I wanted to be there, with him. I moved into the room, sat next to him. I looked at him, and I wanted to scream and yell and cry...It felt like he wanted to speak through his unconsciousness. I felt as though he wanted to say sorry...to apologize...to make up...to make me smile...And, I was sorry too..so sorry...

"I know you were always bad at promises...But, I did not know, you'd try this hard to break one..." I half joked, through tears.

I knew I had to let go...

"I am so sorry sweetheart...But I know I need to let you go...I need to pull the plug...Shall I? I promised you once, just once, that I'd never let you off so easy...But, now darling, I realise letting you go is the only thing I can do... Am so sorry for us, for those broken dreams...But am glad, I have had all the love, and today, I am gonna give it all to let you go...Goodbye Sweetheart...I love you..."
.
.
.
I have loved him despite all those broken promises. I have loved him in spite of everything. And as I let go of him that fateful day, I realized that love is not about holding on. Its more about letting go. For, Letting go takes Love.

"..and the easiest thing I do is get hurt..."

2009-05-25T03:57:00.000-07:00

Yeah! That is just so very true. The simplest and easiest thing with me is to get hurt. I need no reason, no trigger, no situation. Nothing at all. At times I wonder if I am going insane? Or is it just one of those 'bad-hair-days'? The simplest of things now put me off. I can't understand what is happening. Nor can I express or explain myself in words. In this limited space, where I normally do type out a million words, I find myself falter. There's this fear now, and I feel averse to this blank white space, as though it knows more than what I want to give out, and threatens to give myself away.

Scribbles, ever so random ones, I cannot manage anymore. Suffocating, I am now, and the hurt has surfaced, all over again. And I know, I can go no more- so I ask, does it matter that I don't? Nay, it never did, I gather. No, I realise.

Period.

T.A.G

2009-04-30T20:28:00.000-07:00

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Not that am aware of.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Last week I suppose

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Not reeli...!

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Chicken

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Definitely!

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
At times... Depends!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes. :)

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Ab-so-lute-ly!!!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
None!!

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Yeah if they have laces...

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Anythingggggggg Stawbellyyyy!!!

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Hmmm... The overall personality I guess!

15. RED OR PINK?
Red

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORlTE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Escapism.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Mr.Pea :(

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Not reeli. Upto each one!

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Umm...Am wearing blue track pants. Am barefeet.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Jagjit Singh's Ghazal.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Black

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Johnson n Johnson's Baby Cream, Smell of earth after the first rain, Smell of his aftershave and Davidoff's coolwater.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Amma

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
Oh definitely yes ! :)

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Errr... Nuthin at all to be frank!

27. HAIR COLOR?
Brownish Black.

28. EYE COLOR?
Black

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Nopes

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Anythin amma makes

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy Endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Can't remember..Ain't a movie buff!

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Red

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Both

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
No idea.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Ppl I dont tag ;)

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Doestovesky's Idiot

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Not using a mouse for my lappy.

A 100 Things - A Tag!

2009-04-03T20:23:00.000-07:00

100 Things about Me

ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?

Well, I have a small scar on my left eyebrow. I remember trying to fly like some superhero, and having had a great fall from the cot, hitting my head at the window pane and cutting myself. The scar refuses to go. But now, its been well camouflaged with time :)

WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?

Hmmm...a couple of photographs of my family and me, a few paintings done by a dear friend, a calender and some wall decors!

DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?

Not that I am aware of :)

WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?

well...I am into all sorts of music. It depends totally upon what mood I am in. Love to listen to Enigma mainly in the wee hours of the morning!. Prefer soft rock, trance. Am fond of Hindustani, a bit of Carnatic and old Hindi melodies too. And a few hand picked favorites from Malayalam, especially from movies of 1980s! So its always a pot pourri of choices! :)

DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?

Yeah. At 4.00am. And its said that it was some auspicious hour and day, to be born on!! :)

WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?

To be with Mr.Pea :)

WHAT DO YOU MISS?

The endless talks with Mr.Pea, really miss that these days. And yeah, I miss my friends too :)

WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?

Hmmm...a tough one! I am a scrap collector of sorts!! hehe! I can't even toss out a scrap of paper someone dear has written on! So, I have a treasure chest of sorts! With everything ranging from a tissue paper on which Mr.Pea has jotted on, to a good luck charm someone special had gifted me. Have a collection of birthday cards, and paper cuttings and blah blah!! I guess you do get the picture! :)

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

161cm :( I wish I were taller. Sigh!

DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?

Not really!

DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?

Naah! I love the dark :)

THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?

Err...I am sensitive when it comes to something related to anyone I value much in my life. So I guess it is Mr.Pea :P Just don't ask me when, or why! :D

WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?

Losing Dear Ones. I can't imagine being left alone in this world without my family and Mr.Pea. I get so upset even thinking of something of that kind.

WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?

There's nothing more attractive than messy jet black hair that refuses to stay neat and intense dark black eyes!!

WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?

Hmmm...Earlier, I used to envision myself being proposed in the classic style with music all around, a table set with candlelight and wine, flowers arranged all over and the perfect proposal speech!! But there was no music, candlelight or flowers or any proposal speech in real! I can't even remember how or when it happened. And that was the best part. It happened without even us knowing. Unheard(unsaid) melodies are often the sweetest, nay? I couldn't have agreed more!! :)

COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?

If given with the above choice, I'd go for Coffee! And it must be Hot!! :)

FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?

Not too great a pizza fanatic. But then, I'd go for Spicy Chicken Tikka and Red Pepper as topping!

IF YOU COULD EAT SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Hmmm...Can anyone get me a plate of pani puri?? yummyyy!!

FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?

Its always been Black!!

HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?

Urgh! Never!

WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?

I remember being gifted a Diary during my third grade. It had a small lock and key, was pink in colour with golden designs all over. I just adored it, and I guess I started to write in. And that has been the one thing that sparked my interest in writing and reading :) Thanks Dad, for that gift! I still have that diary saved up! I dread my handwriting thou!! Hehe!!

DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?

Not really!

ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?

Nopes!! I ain't :)

FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?

Not a brand freak. But yea, I just adore my DIESEL jeans! And I love Fab India for Kurtis and Levi's for tees!! :)

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?

Kajol/Abhishek Bachan :P

DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?

Nopes. I never liked having pets. But now, I guess I wouldn't mind having a doggy.

WHAT KIND IS IT?

Hmm... If I have one, it'd be a pug, I guess!

WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?

Yes. I would.

SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:

BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?

Brunettes. I just don't like Blondes :D

FAVORITE QUOTE?

I have never been hurt by what I haven't said - Colin Coolidge. I believe that the quote is so very true!

FAVORITE PLACE?

Home! There's no where else, I'd rather be :)

HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE INDIA?

Oh yeah!

YOUR WEAKNESSES?

Hmmm... My mood swings :P I need to learn to have a control over it!

MET ANYONE FAMOUS?

Have seen a few celebrities. That's it :)

FIRST JOB?

Haven't had one, yet!

EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?

Just one? You ought to be kidding, nay? :D

DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOUL MATE?

Yeah! I Believe in Soul mates! I think I have been lucky to find Mine :)

WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?

Mailing Mr.Pea his daily dose of news, cricket and football funda!! (Yeah, being a captain's lady is hard work..hehe!!)

HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?

Thankfully not :)

WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?

Hmmm... My Poetry? :)

HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?

Nopes. But my teeth are so irregular. I have been to 3 dentists to try coax them to get me braces. But in vain. It seems that my smile would seem better this way than with altered teeth structure. So they blatantly refuse to let me have braces. Sigh! I always wanted those! Hehe!

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?

A phone call :)

HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES?

Hehe! At one point of time I hated kids, and never wanted any. That has changed to the other extreme, for I adore kids, and now would love to have 4 kids!!Hehe! 2 girls and 2 boys - Nakshatra, Arthvika, Gagan and Prithvi :P Now, don't ya dare steal those names!! Its copyrighted! Ahem! :D

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

Nopes! And am glad about that!

WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?

Male Chauvinism

WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?

I learnt what friendship is all about :)

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?

Naaaah! I hate it rather. Sigh!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?

Chicken!!

ANY BAD HABITS?

I bite my nails quite often. Curbing the urge, these days! And am getting better! :)
Also, I am someone with a lotta mood swings, and when I am irritated, you are better off staying a mile away from me...!

ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?

Not really. But yea, at times I do feel twinges! But I know to overcome it in a jiffy too!

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?

I guess so :)

DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?

I didn't understand this question to be frank!

DO LOOKS MATTER?

Not at all.

HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?

Well. I vent out all my frustration on Mr.Pea. I just can't help it :(

WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?

To not regret anything in life :)

WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?

My barbie doll :)

HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?

Hmmmm... 400 plus.

WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?

Nopes.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

Yeah. When am totally sore and want to score.

MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?

Neither.

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?

Hmmm... The total personality. What matters to me is that he should have the intellect and ease to carry himself well :) A warm smile and good manners are added bonus!

WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?

Well... Sashu is the one!! :)

FAVORITE SUPER POWER?

Love. It can turn the world upside down!! :)

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?

Am not into the TV at all. But, love to watch F.RI.E.N.D.S!!

WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?

Forgive, but never ever forget. And always be on your watch! :P

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?

Stawbellyy Stawbellyyy!! hehe!! Nothing to beat that one :)

DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?

Yeah I do.

PLANS FOR TONIGHT?

Nothing as of now. Enough time left to decide :)

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?

Anywhere, where I can grow old gracefully, with my mirror image :)

DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?

Its up to each one! But I'd like everyone who reads this, to comment though :P

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?

Raga Mian Ki Malhar by Bhimsen Joshi :)

LAST THING YOU DRANK?

Water :) Its the most refreshing thing ever!!!

LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

Nisha, my dearest friend :)

THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX

The right attitude :)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?

Read, write, dream. But best, be with Mr.Pea... Awww, I miss him :(

FAVORITE THING TO HATE?

Backbiters , Male chauvinists and Blabbermouths.

FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR

Autumn!!

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?

Lindt I guess!

HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?

Yes. I am lucky I've always had Best Friends :) And am luckier I still have them!! :)

WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?

Dark Brown

EYE COLOR?

Black

SHOE SIZE?

FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?

Errr...Don't have any favorites, to be frank!

FAVORITE RESTAURANT?

Malabar Gate, in Calicut! Mr.Pea n me haunt that place!! hehe! Our "adda" n we manage discounts evertyime!! Hehe :P

WHO WERE YOUR GOOD FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL?

Febin, Mike, Jis, Chitra n Vivek.

FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?

12 Feb :)

PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?

A bit of guitar :) Just quit even before I could play a proper tune thou!

POLITICAL VIEW?

I like Che Guevara's ideologies. But I don't like the present communist manifesto. Nor am I any politically inclined.

KISSES OR HUGS?

Both are nice. Depends on the giver :)

RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?

Relationships, for sure!

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?

Track pants for my gym.

WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?

Well...not really. Unless when I go sailing :)

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?

Memoirs of Pablo Neruda and My Story by Kamala Das.

DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE

Ah! Heaven!!! :)
(Touch Wood)

For a rainy day!

2009-03-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

The raindrops fell harder and harder. I latched the windows shut. I heard the pounding at the door. I rushed so as to let you in. The power failed before I reached the door. I offered you the dry towel, and went over to set the table for dinner. In the darkness, I walked over to place the dishes, and I heard you sit. I asked for your cigerette lighter. You didnot answer me. Nor did you smell of tobacco, tonight. I could hear the clatter of the spoons as you silently ate, while I looked for a candle. I managed to light a candle, and I entered the room.

I found the plates wiped clean, and the bowls almost empty. I looked around for you. All over the place. In vain. I rushed to the open, looking for you. The ightening struck random. I stood, dripping wet. Just then, I watched you step out of the rickshaw, your white shirt sticking onto you. I stood still, almost reluctant to believe my eyes. You pulled me to you. Together we got back home. You told me that it could have been a fiction of my imagination. I shrugged my shoulder, in acceptance.

I walked over to the kitchen, sighing. I'd have to prepare dinner, all over again. But, on the table, I saw everything set. You told me that i indeed fell into a hallucination of some sort. I had no words to object. So I smiled, and offered to get you some warm clothes. Then, after a while, toghether we sat at the dinner table. The meal was very simple, yet we shared our laughs.

The rain still hadn't ceased. The fury or the romance, was it? I wondered. The doors had to be bolted shut, for the night. I peeked out just before closing it. That was when I saw it- a black darned umbrella and a cone of peanuts, wet. I picked it up, and brought it to you. You told me that someone could have placed it near our doors by mistake. I nodded, though hesitant to believe so. I placed it outside our doors, and latched the door shut.

The next morning, I had almsot forgotten of the night's happenings. I went to the kitchen, a fresh day of chores waiting for me. It was quite a while after, that I heard you call for me. I came out to the open patio outside. You had in your hand, the umbrella, and the peanuts, still soaked in yesterday's rain. But what caught my eyes was the wet paper in your hand. It had a portrait of a lady with a candle in her hand. And I knew it was just me.

We stood in silence and surprise, for a while. You had excuses so many and pulled me in, saying it was not meant for us. I did not respond. We walked back home. What you never noticed was that I held with me, those souveniers - the darned umbrella, the old parchment and the cone of soaked peanuts.

And, I have saved it up, for always. For a rainy day, as its said!

Hunger ( my attempt at 55F )

2009-03-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

There lies a pile of wreckage of what I called, home, until a few days ago. "Where do I find you?" I ask myself. I frantically search through souveniers of our life, crumpled in the quake. The hunger pangs strike again. I search, frantic- and, I find you.

And I tear at your flesh.

Hunger.

P.S : About 55 Fiction

A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:

Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)
A setting,
One or more characters,
Some conflict, and
A resolution. (Not limited to moral of the story)

Personality Profile!!

2009-03-26T20:49:00.000-07:00

Sashu!!
ENTP, Originator, Intellectual

Personality Type

ENTP - The "Originator"

Temperament: NT (Intellectual)

Primary Function: Extraverted Intuition

Population: 3% (4.5% male, 1.5% female)

Extraverted

Introverted

74%

26%

Sensing

Intuition

47%

53%

Thinking

Feeling

53%

47%

Judging

Perceiving

47%

53%

Preferences

Extraverted
iNtuition
Thinking
Perceiving

Temperament
NT (Intellectual)

ENTP Population
Total: 3%
Male: 4.5%
Female: 1.5%

Primary Function
Extraverted Intuition

Secondary Function
Introverted Thinking

Tertiary Function
Extraverted Feeling

Least Function
Introverted Sensing

ENTP - The "Originator"

ENTPs are logical, innovative, curious and downright inventive. They see possibilities for improvement everywhere and possess the ability to understand complex concepts. ENTPs are introspective and carefree nonconformists. They often neglect the more common areas of life while pursuing new solutions. ENTPs can be good conversationalists and exciting company.

ENTP Career Matches

ENTPs are often happy with the following jobs which tend to match well with the Originator/Intellectual personality.

Actor

Artist

Comedian

Computer Analyst

Computer Programmer

Consultant

Designer

Engineer

Entrepreneur

Inventor

Journalist

Lawyer/Attorney

Marketer

Musician

Photographer

Politician

Psychiatrist

Psychologist

Public Relations

Sales Representative

Scientist

Systems Analyst

Writer

Profile: ENTP
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 26 Feb 2005

"Clever" is the word that perhaps describes ENTPs best. The professor who juggles half a dozen ideas for research papers and grant proposals in his mind while giving a highly entertaining lecture on an abstruse subject is a classic example of the type. So is the stand-up comedian whose lampoons are not only funny, but incisively accurate.

ENTPs are usually verbally as well as cerebrally quick, and generally love to argue--both for its own sake, and to show off their often-impressive skills. They tend to have a perverse sense of humor as well, and enjoy playing devil's advocate. They sometimes confuse, even inadvertently hurt, those who don't understand or accept the concept of argument as a sport.

ENTPs are as innovative and ingenious at problem-solving as they are at verbal gymnastics; on occasion, however, they manage to outsmart themselves. This can take the form of getting found out at "sharp practice"--ENTPs have been known to cut corners without regard to the rules if it's expedient -- or simply in the collapse of an over-ambitious juggling act. Both at work and at home, ENTPs are very fond of "toys"--physical or intellectual, the more sophisticated the better. They tend to tire of these quickly, however, and move on to new ones.

ENTPs are basically optimists, but in spite of this (perhaps because of it?), they tend to become extremely petulant about small setbacks and inconveniences. (Major setbacks they tend to regard as challenges, and tackle with determin- ation.) ENTPs have little patience with those they consider wrongheaded or unintelligent, and show little restraint in demonstrating this. However, they do tend to be extremely genial, if not charming, when not being harassed by life in general.

In terms of their relationships with others, ENTPs are capable of bonding very closely and, initially, suddenly, with their loved ones. Some appear to be deceptively offhand with their nearest and dearest; others are so demonstrative that they succeed in shocking co-workers who've only seen their professional side. ENTPs are also good at acquiring friends who are as clever and entertaining as they are. Aside from those two areas, ENTPs tend to be oblivious of the rest of humanity, except as an audience -- good, bad, or potential.

What does Success mean to an ENTP?

ENTP personalities are motivated by possibilities. They love the outside chances; the new or unusual combinations lurking within the ordinary everyday world of things and ideas. For them, something is always on the up, something is always tantalizing their desire to re-orchestrate life into new patterns and shapes; new ways of fulfilling what can be as strong as a never ending desire to beat the odds and win at every game in town, or as mild as a quirky personal need for constant variety and change. With their thinking tied to the myriad possibilities they see in the world, they act swiftly and decisively upon those angles, choices and combinations scarcely noticed by other types, but through which they can build whole new frameworks or completely redefine an existing external situation in such a way that it appears new, revitalized and once again full of promise. Sameness, stasis, conservatism - even daily routine - can be loathsome to fervent ENTPs, whose drive is always to be into something new, different and full of fresh possibilities, and who, given the opportunity, will always be the first to show others a new path to success in a venture, or to find a way of doing something that no-one has done before.

ENTP people measure their success by their “aha” moments, by the sense of satisfaction which comes as they spread their newly written maps before them and contemplate the new adventure, design, investigation or conquest which has now become their road ahead. What has gone before, previous achievements, ways of living - even people met along the way - are often now forgotten or considered passé, mere steps along a path which has now brought a new frontier to be exploited for its gifts. Whether it is the search for knowledge, money, power, fame or pleasure, the ENTP will be found at the frontline, gazing into the distance and discovering new avenues toward, bigger, better or more satisfying outcomes.

ENTPs are the great problem solvers, discoverers and re-inventors of the world. Their insights into the world around them, their ability to see new ways of putting things together and making them work can bring them great success in virtually any industry or human pursuit that interests them. For this reason the ENTP is happiest in situations where they can use their intuitive powers freely and have the space in which to think upon the aspects and angles which come to them. Without fulfilling work and the freedom to use their mind most productively, ENTPs can quickly tire of a limiting situation. For this reason an open road toward success is an extremely important factor in the ENTPs life. Some, given a little opportunity, will clear one for themselves, but of all the types, it is the ENTP who has most need to be aware of the life and career situations they might commit to without sufficient thought for the future.

ENTP Relationships

Typically good-natured, upbeat and laid-back, ENTPs can be delightful people to be around. They get a lot of enjoyment and satisfaction from interacting with others, and especially enjoy discussing and debating theories and concepts which interest them. They may be prone to initiate arguments because they so enjoy the debate. They are generally fun-loving and gregarious, and can be quite charming. They have a problem with sometimes neglecting their close relationships when they become involved in the pursuit of a new idea or plan.

ENTP Strengths

* Enthusiastic, upbeat, and popular
* Can be very charming
* Excellent communication skills
* Extremely interested in self-improvement and growth in their relationships
* Laid-back and flexible, usually easy to get along with
* Big idea-people, always working on a grand scheme or idea
* Usually good at making money, although not so good at managing it
* Take their commitments and relationships very seriously
* Able to move on with their lives after leaving a relationship

ENTP Weaknesses

* Always excited by anything new, they may change partners frequently
* Tendency to not follow through on their plans and ideas
* Their love of debate may cause them to provoke arguments
* Big risk-takers and big spenders, not usually good at managing money
* Although they take their commitments seriously, they tend to abandon their relationships which no longer offer opportunity for growth

ENTPs as Lovers

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

ENTP's goals for their intimate relationships are similar to their other personal goals: improvement and growth. They constantly ask themselves questions such as: How can the relationship be improved? Where is the relationship headed? Am I growing in the relationship? They are likely to enthusiastically embrace new ideas and projects for themselves and their mates which they feel will propel them along their goal for growth and knowledge discovery. The ENTP's general enthusiasiam and good intentions are usually quite positive and healthful in a relationship.

A problem area for ENTP's is their tendency to not follow through on their schemes. This can be frustrating to their mates. It may also create a "boy who called wolf" syndrome in their relationships, with their partner never believing that the ENTP will actually do what they say they'll do.

Another potential problem area is the ENTP's general tendency towards "wildness" and willingness to take risks. They may lead the family into uncomfortable financial situations, which can be quite stressful on intimate relationships.

Sexually, the ENTP is enthusiastic and interested in positive, constant growth for both partners. They're likely to be very attentive, involved, and questioning. They enjoy spontaneity rather than fixed schedules, and fully embrace new ideas and adventures. They're likely to approach intimacy as more of a physical act which conveys affection, rather than as an opportunity to explicitly express affection.

In general, ENTP's childlike enthusiasm and genuine interest in the health and direction of the relationship makes them willing and able to promote healthy, growing relationships with their significant others. They need to watch out for their tendency to be unaware of what others are feeling, and to inadvertantly neglect their relationships when faced with exciting possibilities that are external to their personal life.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, ENTP's natural partner is the INFJ, or the INTJ. The ENTP's dominant function of Extraverted Intuition is best matched with a personality that is dominated by Introverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?

ENTPs as Parents

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

With their fun and upbeat natures, there's a little bit of kid inside all ENTPs. They approach parenthood with a fun-loving attitude which has a serious underlying goal: to make everything a learning exercise (for themselves as well as for their children) which promotes the child's growth into an independent, logical thinker.

The ENTP is likely to be somewhat inconsistent about spending quality time with their children. One minute they will exhibit a lot of interest and enthusiasm towards being around their kids, and will display a great deal of affection for them. However, as soon as they get caught-up in one of their grand schemes for improving a system somewhere, they're likely to inadvertantly neglect their kids.

ENTPs as Friends

ENTPs can get along with almost all other types of people. They are intuitive about what makes others tick, although they generally lack the ability to sympathize or relate to others who do not see things the same way as the ENTP. They are flexible and easy-going, and genuinely enjoy interacting with others.

Although the ENTP is able to get along with a wide variety of people, they are likely to choose to surround themselves with people who are intelligent, capable, and idea-oriented. They love nothing better than engaging in a good debate with someone who can hold their end of the conversation. This will stimulate and energize the ENTP, who is highly competitive and loves to discuss theories.

Sometimes the ENTP falls into the habit of practicing "one-upmanship". If this goes unchecked, it may cause a problem with friendships and close interpersonal relationships.

My Bucket List :)

2009-03-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

There are things and things to do, in this life. Here are some of the few things I'd want to do, some of the people I'd want to meet, places I'd want to go, or experiences I'd want to savour...!! Sharing some of those, in random order!! :)

Gondola Ride at Venice!! Sounds so so romantic, nay? :)

CEO!! Quite obsessed with the term, I am. I wish to have my own Business Empire :D

Go Sailing :P

Learn to drive one of those :D Hehehe!!

Learn to swim :)

Get a nose piercing done!! This one is soon gonna be true :P

Get a tattoo!! Inked for life, indeed!

Learn to make excellent fish curry!! Someone juz luvz it :D

Get paid for my work!! Juz waiting for the first ever pay check..sigh! It till seems a while away!!

To practice and give a proper professional stage performance of Bharatnatyam :)

Spend a week in Kashmir, the paradise on earth!!

Meet Abhishek Bachan. Just so that I can get over him. And get on with my life :P

Visit the leaning tower of pisa!!

Visit Bora Bora, once in my lifetime!!

To lose weight n get those perfect curves!! Hehehe!! :P

Publish a Book!! Sounds so far fetched, I know! But the, I reeli want to, someday...!!

Bungee jumping!! Have never had the chance to, so far! Once I do, I will, for sure!!

Meet Dr.A.P.J Abdul Kalam... One of the finest minds. I loved his Wings of Fire, and ever since, have wanted to meet him in person!! :)

To finally get to meet a few of the wonderful souls I've found in this virtual world! N I mean just a very few special ones!! :)

Adopt a baby :) I wish I could...!

Benaras! I want to make a trip there, alone :)

Weakness - (A story)

2009-03-16T00:42:00.000-07:00

I love this feeling. Of being able to play you like a harp. Ah, this is such a satiating feeling to watch you forget the world. Looking down at you I smile inwardly. I know to wield you around, feel your senses dissolve and melt, in the height of passion. I know, right now, as you are sleeping, you are calm and happy. Your thoughts never stray to dissect our love-making .Nor does it tread out a plan for the future. It is content yet flushed, hungry yet satiated. I love to watch you sleep. It thrills me to find you cuddled up against my skin, your breath coming in as a soft caress. Goose flesh! I like to feel the stubble of yours tickle me, and I like the feeling of intimacy.

The morning is a few hours away. I can't wait to wake you up with a coffee. I know by mind, the expression you'd have on your face. A shrug, and a sigh. How fast the time speeds by, nay? The feeling of wanting, and the feeling of not having. I love to see the torture. I like it when you hate to leave me. I love the sense of power I possess. I love it.

Do you know why I never come to wave you bye? Because I feel weak when I see you go. I feel that I shrink back into being the loner I am. I need to have you around. Not for security, not for love. Yes, I have no shame in saying I don't love you. I need you to feel powerful. I need you to mask my weakness. I thrive by gaining power from your weakness. So I never come to see you off.

As you stir awake, I smile. I am the queen, once again. Even the night scares me. Even sleep scares me. What if I go back to being the weakling I am? What if I get no more of you?

"Good morning love. I hate to leave. Is it time already?" You ask as your arms reach out for me. I smile and move in close to you. "Hmmmm... Yes, am afraid it is time." I murmur. I can see the bitterness in your eyes, and I feel calm, all over again. Everything seems fine. I know, you'll be back.

I know.

I know.

Mussorie Melancholy - (A story)

2009-03-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

I realize that I have always loved you. No matter where I have been, or with whom I have been, you were always there on my mind. Now as I look at you, I know that I have let go of something that could have been so very mine. I find that you have aged, gracefully so. Your eyes still have got that twinkle, the naughtiness that often took my breath away. I remember the smile in your eyes and the madness in them too. Your have a few gray hairs. I remember you always did- premature grays, we talked of, often. How hard we had laughed when you kept telling me I'd go bald by the time I got 35 and you'd still be young and pretty! I can see that you are surprised to find me this way today, still not bald, and not even a gray hair to point to. Ah! I am amused.

It has been 14 years since we last met. Do you remember? That misty dawn of December, when you had come running to my Hostel Block. I remember being woken up so early by my room mate saying you were waiting for me at the visitor's lounge. I remember walking up to you, groggy and still sleepy. I remember the look of horrid pain in your eyes, and all I knew that moment was I could never see you in pain. I wanted to take you in my arms, and tell you that everything is fine. I wanted to promise you that everything would go fine. But all I did was stare at you, helpless. You threw yourself onto me, sobbing uncontrollably. I held you close. I could smell the coconut oil in your hair mixed with fresh sweat. Your slender frame fit easily in my arms. I felt as though I held my world in my arms. Gently I pulled away. Your eyes tore my heart. You told me about your father's call and how you were being called back home. I did not understand the graveness of the situation. I thought he wanted you home for a while, and eventually you'd be back. After all you still had 4 months of college left. How could he not send you back? I offered to take you home myself. But, I had got the point completely wrong.

You had come to me, to never go back. I never realized it. I saw the brief shock register. I did see the terror in your eyes, and how you turned away from me. I took your hands in mine, and asked if everything was alright. You told me that your father wishes to get you married off to someone from your village. I couldn't get myself to believe that. I argued with you, saying it could never possibly be. After all you had never met the man, and you were just 21. You were one of the best students in the college, and your studies hadn't finished yet. And moreover, you were never informed of any plans before. And then you received a call saying you were to be married to someone and that too the very next week. It seemed impossible to me. I realize, I had been insensitive and immature then.

Your eyes were red and sore. The tears never stopped. I didn't know what to do. I was still at college, barely 21. I knew that I wanted you more than anything else. But, I didnot know what I could have done. I held you in my arms, and sat speechless. The visitor's lounge was soon filled with people, and we decided to go out for a walk. I rushed to my room, and in a while we were walking along the winding road towards the Mussorie Lake. We had spent quite an awful lot of our college days there. But unlike all other times, there was no laughter, and no playfulness. The air was suddenly cold, and chilly. The lake was suddenly a reflection, that showed two lonesome hearts, in turmoil. We sat at our favorite spot, beneath the litchi tree. Time sped by, without either of us realizing. There was nothing I could offer you. I did not know what I could do, to stop you.

You turned to me smiling, bittersweet. I held you close, once again. I tipped your face up to mine, and leaned over to kiss you. Your eyes were closed. I could see the little mole above your lips and the thick eyelashes you always loved to bat. Your eyes were sore, I knew. I gently kissed your eyelids. I felt the sadness in me welling. I knew this could possibly be our last time together. You sensed it too I realized. You held me so close, and my hands wrapped around you. I wanted to never let go. Gently, my hands roamed over your body, shivering. I was filled with a sense of sadness and love. You gave yourself up to me. We made love for the very first time. The breeze soft, chilled our skin. Yet, in the warmth of our bodies, we found comfort. I remember the softness of your skin, the warmth of your body. You were so tiny, and slender, and we fit each other just perfect.I remember the contours of your breasts and the depth of your navel. I remember the taste of your skin, the fragrance of you. I remember the calm of the lake, and the frenzy of our heartbeats. But every time ever since you left that eve, I could only remember the drop of tear that spilled when you kissed me the very last time, before turning away from me, forever.

I have been always held down by the weight of that drop of tear. As I felt the tear touch my skin, I realized in all certainty that I had lost you, forever. I stayed near the litchi tree that whole night. Your fading image filled my eyes, over and over.

I wonder are you thinking just the same, now? I can never ask, can I? The time has sped by. You still look pretty, with that mole that shifts when you smile. And you still have the lustrous black hair, with your special grays. I wish the breeze would carry over to me, the fragrance of coconut oil in your hair. I have missed it, I really have. All this while. I find that you have out on a few pounds onto your once slender frame. It looks good. Age looks good on you. I wish you were with me, growing old together. Ah! How I wish....!

I answer your queries politely. You introduce me to your husband, and your little girl. I kneel down, to talk to your child. She looks so beautiful. A drop of tear falls out of my eyes, as I kissed her on her forehead. And as I come up to my height, I find your smile. And, I feel the gush of cool air around me, as though I have been freed, as though I have been sanctified. You smile and wish me luck, before turning away to join your family. I stand at the platform watching you board the train.Watching the train starting to move, I find your little girl waving at me, in sheer joy. And then you smile one last time.

Your image has faded away, once again. But this time, no tears have spilled from my eyes. I feel calm, and happier than I have ever felt in ages. You have just set me free. All I needed was your smile...

Knowing the random me- A tag!

2009-03-04T04:50:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by Tara and Deeps for this tag. Now that am done with the theory exams, I am a free bird. Well, not exactly one, coz I still have my clinics n labs left. Sigh! But then that is supposed to be another post of mine. And to all those well wishers of mine, who helped me through with Prayers, I'd just wanna say Thank You So Much!! My papers so far went okay, nothing great to boast of, but decent enough to get me outta college! I have my last paper on Friday, and then am all done :) So, THANKS AGAIN!!!

Now getting back to the tag, let me just give a quick review regarding the actual rules. And let me add on a disclaimer here. I am nasty with rules, and I bend them much to my liking! So if that happens here, I am not to be blamed please!

The Random Tag Rules : Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you.
At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged.

You have to link the person who tagged you.

So, here goes the odd random trivia regarding myself :P

1. I am a Hypochondriac.

Lol! A mild case rather. Having to learn of all the umpteen diseases and medicines and blah blah, I can't be blamed, right? If I find something a wee bit out of order, or feel like it, I go hay wire, wondering -

Oh it could be this. Or, rather, could it be that. Hey wait, maybe am overreacting. But, what if...? The questions are endless. But then, it doesn't last that long either. I normally tend to forget about all the so-called symptoms in a jiffy. But I sure am growing out of this hypochondria thingy. Phew!! That is such a huge relief, really!

2. I kinda expect the whole wide world to like me.

Something I dread and literally hate in me. If I happen to know that someone thinks of me in a rather unpleasant sort of way, it gets me in the doldrums for a rather very long time. I know, and am always told by friends and family, that I can't expect the entire world to like me. But then, that is just what I actually expect! But, I really am trying to change. I don't want to get hurt coz of my attitude. I know it is never really possible! Ohhh, why can't it be, nay?

3. I am fussy about food.

Yeah, I am really fussy about my food. I cant manage to be near food with Brinjal in it. Just a faint tinge of it makes me feel all sick, and I get the urge to throw up. Well, not a pleasant read, this tag is turning out to be, I understand :P And yeah, I can't handle Fish of any sorts (except Prawns, which I argue to be not really a fish.) I always get lectured to have fish, for its high antioxidant content of omega-3-fatty acids, which is proven to be highly beneficial to health.It actually decreases the risk for atherosclerosis, and myocardial infarction. Well, I got a bit carried away with the medical trivia. Sorry :D

But, I am learning to cook fish delicacies coz Mr.Pea can't even have a bite to eat without fish. Sigh! And my mom loves to see me sweat it out in the kitchen trying to get the fish fry, just right!

4. I can't help not "doing a Monica"!! Sigh!

Yeah, another quirk. Lol. I just can't get the concentration to learn if I find something a wee bit out of place, in my room. Everything, and by everything, I mean Everything!! Right from the paintings and picture frames on the walls being at the right angles, to the rugs being just in its place; from the blanket being folded just right to having the comb in the exact spot, it is supposed to be, everything has to just right on spot. Else I freak out. Well, you can call it "Doing a Monica!!" (F.R.I.E.N.D.S fame...Hehe)

But this quirk is just when I have to study. Else, I don't really mind much if anything's out of place. I can just find my sister glaring at me on reading that. So well, its just me who thinks that way, I realize. Pity, nay?

5. I don't read Newspapers!

Well, it ain't something I am proud of. But, unfortunately it is so very true. I can give you a billion excuses as to why I don't, but none would be true. So, I'd rather not venture into something of that sort. I am always coaxed, and even threatened by Mr.Pea and my parents, to pick up the habit. But I never manage to. I do try to get myself up-to-date about the news though.(courtesy news channels, friends and family..hehe) If you are wondering what is so wrong with the newspapers, I have no answer. I often wonder the same :D

6. I am addicted to getting myself clicked! :D

A highly narcissistic indulgence of mine. It could get real weary for the photographer. Trust me. I am never ever happy with my pics, and the session could go on for hours relentlessly, until I am satisfied (Lol! Satisfied? Now, That is a Joke!) My sis Sona is my self-proclaimed official photographer. And nowadays, as soon as I say the words "snap/ pic/ click/ camera" she scoots, for the love for life, I guess. She always keep warning Mr.Pea of what exactly is in store for him all through his life- The Narcissistic Me and all my indulgences ( Which is a long list, either ways!)

7. I am empathetic

"She's frequently kind..." goes the Billy Joel track. And I guess, I can say that about me.
This is something I have realized about me, through out my college. I don't know if it is for the good, or not. But its something I like about myself. I take extra effort to make people smile. I spend hours to keep company to a lonely friend. I find myself giving away lessons to neighborhood kids prior to their Big exams.I try to do the little little things I can, to help people. I have just started to read out stuff at the geriatric care center in my city. And these are moments I cherish. It brings me more happiness than most times.

8. I am egoistic.

I have had the misfortune of losing friends to misunderstandings. It doesn't happen often, but yeah it has happened. And I have never ever been able to come to terms with it :( And, it not like I don't try. I do. But after a certain effort, I don't. I get egoistic about apologizing for something I haven't been at fault. So there goes the story!

9. I love Kids.

Well you must be wondering who doesn't? Its true. I just adore kids, especially the little ones. Am really good with them too- right from an infant to a toddler to a naughty school going one. And even with teenagers, I am pretty much at ease. And when ever I attend weddings or any such functions, I often end up with a gang of kids whom I have never met before. I just love pampering and getting pampered :)

10. I have tried running away from Home.

Lol. I have tried my hand at running away from home, and that too at the ripe age of 7 I guess :D Call it one of those moments I don't like to think of, now. I still wonder what would have been had I succeeded. I dread thinking of it even. I love my family and friends and my life so much, that I just can't imagine myself far away, leading a life so different from this one. God!! Thank you!!

11. I love the green hopper!

Green hopper!! I kinda love seeing them :P Maybe after my grandma mentioned to me that having green hoppers visiting you, brings good luck and good money!! Hehe!

12. I have the habit of reading all through daily chores.

Yeah, you can always find me with my nose inside a book. I go to sleep reading, and every morn when I wake up, I find my spectacles and book on the bed, sometimes squashed under the pillow. I pick the book, wear the glasses on and move around to the bathroom, reading while I brush my teeth, floss, and even in the loo at most times. (I know it sounds gross!) And breakfast with my book in one hand, off to college with my bag and the book squeezed in. I even read during classes, and break times. And when back at home, I pick my pillow and move onto the terrace, where I have a wide platform attached to the railings, where I can lie down and read. I LOVE IT :)

13. I wish to see Abhishek Bachan at least once in my lifetime!

I am normally not someone obsessed with celebrities. But when it comes to Abhishek Bachan, I could go cranky. I just adore the suave handsome man that he is! Awwww....I better control drooling over him. Hehe. Jokes apart, I really want to meet him once. For what? To get over him! Hehehe!

14. I have weird dreams.

Truly weird , most of my dreams are. Most often with no correlation, no basis and no element of sense to it. The frames keep shifting from one to another within a jiffy, leaving me a string of odd poorly-formed instances. And I try real hard in placing them right, and decipher out what exactly the entire thing meant. But in vain! Just to get you an idea, I'll share one of my recent dreams. Trust me, I actually DID see this stuff.

Scene 01: Room no- 70, Medical College Hostel.
Its exam time. Everyone's busy mugging up. Discussions and combined studies are all over. I am reading something too. And watching everyone work so hard, I get my panic attacks. I just feel like getting away. And I run out of the room, all through the corridor to the door that opens into the backyard, where we have provisions for drying clothes.

Scene 02:The door opens.
I step out of the door to find myself running over Snow! Yeah, its frigging snowy all around, and am dressed in cloaks all off a sudden. I can find my professor running over to catch hold of me. I don't look back.I keep running, and running.

Scene 03:
Pierce Brosnan!! Yes, the ultimate hero, James Bond, materializes in front of me from nowhere. He grabs my hand and pulls me down through a trap door. I am saved. Rescued by him. I look up to thank him.

Scene 04:
I am writing my exam. Time out bell rings. My paper is blank, and its snatched away from me.

I woke up startled after that though! So now, you get the idea, don't you?

15. I had an invisible friend during my childhood.

I remember having an invisible friend during my childhood, who was visible to none but me. I have spent quite a lotta time with this friend of mine. It had got my parents worried, at that point of time. But I did grow out of the fantasy. But what I haven't told them is, I still like to think I have that friend. And I used to address my Personal Diary by this friend's name :)

16. I want to have four kids!!

Hehe!! I really like to have four kids, a dog and a husband :D But, I don't know how practical it would be - with a sailor hubby, my career and blah blah! Well, lets see how we Fare!! Lol!!

17. I enjoy star gazing every single night.

I have a small open terrace adjacent to my bedroom. So every single night I'd take my pillow and lie down on my terrace platform, gazing at those twinkling miracles. Its such a wonderful feeling. I started watching stars after my best friend coaxed me to try it. And I am grateful to him, for introducing me to something this wonderful.

18. I hate hanging wet clothes to dry and folding them neat after drying.

I hate this job. Washing doesn't seem this bad. But hanging it out for drying, sure tires the hell out of me. It irritates me to no extend. And the post drying work- I just long to burn the clothes to avoid folding them.

19. I don't brush twice a day. Once done, am glad!

Yeah, its true. I just brush once daily. I usually sleep off direct on bed, reading- either academic stuff or else fiction. Whatever be it, its not a planned process. And so, I never really brush twice. But I haven't got even a single cavity. So it's well with me, I say :D

20. I trust my instinct and intuition when it comes to people.

I am someone who believes in intuition and mental vibes. Most often than not, I've always been right about people. I trust my instinct and intuition. If it asks me to stay away from someone, I make it a point that I do. And no matter how nice the person could be, I'd still want to keep my distance.

21. I am uncomfortable being at big malls and parties and page -3 lifestyle events.

I don't know why its so. But I prefer the cozy comfort of a small eat-out joint or a book store to a huge mall with all its hangout places. I feel out of place in such a space. It appears to me to be too vibrant, with too much of shocking colours that contrast and contradict. I'd like a quiet stroll down the street, stopping to watch kids and smell some flowers, stopping by a street vendor to have pani puri, and laughing about the good things of life.

22. I hate Cafe Coffee Day. And have vowed never to visit one ever again.

I have one of the the sickest of experiences at a CCD. And ever since, I have vowed to stay away from that bloody place, for good.

23. I love to travel.

Its a beautiful experience to travel. I have had just a hand few trips,that is it. But hopefully, I'll manage to get away once in a while to the quiet solitude of myself.

24. I have been lucky to have found kindness and love always in life.

I have been lucky to have found love, and kindness- at places and times I least expected to. Be it someone offering me my bus fare, when I realized I have forgotten my wallet at home. Or, during an unexpected stranger coming to my aid during an accident. I remember being kissed by a little kid while shopping at for grocery. I have always found companionship through out my life. And I consider myself to be special, coz I have had some special moments as these.

25. I am a sucker for tags, I realize :P

I have just realized something random about myself, here. That I am in love with tags.Hehe. I found myself tagged today eve, when I opened my blog. And I just couldn't resist getting it done, despite of having one more exam to be done with. Well, I don't really care. I enjoyed doing this. And so I am pretty happy that I did this one, sparing no time to waste!!

So, there I am. All done with this tag! I am not tagging anyone in here. Anyone and everyone is free to pick up this Tag and get it done! So do tell me how well I have done this one?!?!

Wish Me Luck :D

2009-02-16T00:17:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone :)

This is just a random post! Just want to get some stuff off my mind, and that is - PANIC!! God, its exams! Final year final semester! The BIG one!! And, to say the least, I am absolutely not prepared! Was too much involved with a lot of things - parents being back home , the Pea being on shore, 'meet-his-parents' dinner (PKC...Pennu Kaanal Chadangu! Lol..I'l write on that one, after exams) and blah blah! Now, it seems things have slipped out of my hands... Exams begin tomorrow (17 Feb) and I got no clues what to do!! *Wails*

Guess, I need to sign off, shut off my system, and get learning...Right? Yeah I know. But it seems so hard to do :D Hehe. Just want to say please do pray for me :P Only resort now, is that!! *Sigh!!*

So friends, Wish me Luck!! :) And I need Prayers too!!! Hopefully, I'll be back with a post , after my exams! (March 6, I have my last paper) Till then, all Love!

God Bless!! :)

What's in a Valentine's Day ??

2009-02-11T22:15:00.000-08:00

Frankly speaking, I have never really cared about Valentine's Day! To me it is just another commercial tactic to swoon in customers - be it the cards n gift galleries, ice cream parlors, coffee shops, shopping malls and blah blah blah! It is that time of the year when guys carry their hearts on their sleeves (yeah, literally- all those heart shaped bands on the wrists, I hate them!) and the girls don pinks and reds (No, I ain't saying its wrong! But, why specially this time of the year, it becomes a style statement?) , both the genders carrying teddies and cards and gifts!! A season for fretting over gifts and worrying over budgets- all the discs n pubs n hangouts being dolled up a tad too over the board. It seems a pain, to enter a coffee shop for a cup of coffee with friends and you are suddenly surrounded by balloons in heart shapes, and all the glitterati...! It seems as though Christmas has come early. Just that instead of Santa, it is Cupid with his love-bow! Sigh! Give me a break!!

Now, its not like I am prejudiced or conservative or er...drab boring. No. It is all about, why does one day have to be so special for Love? Love is such a beautiful sentiment right from the heart, all about sharing and all about togetherness and kindness and faith and everything that two hearts could share, all smiles! Love is omnipresent. Then why do we go overboard about Valentine's Day? I just fail to grasp the idea. I know some of us might come up with excuses - In the busy schedule of life, we may not get time to take out special moments to share and bond, in love. So such a day, makes everyone aware of what they have been missing, and makes it a simple way to express those feelings, hidden behind the pile of work files, and day-to-day tensions. It is a time to come out in the open and love, with out inhibitions. I do agree, in this hectic world, we often fail to make time for our loved ones. But I ask you, why does it have to be this way? If there weren't Valentine's day, wouldn't people have taken the effort and time out, to be with loved ones, to spend quality time with family and friends and love?? Wouldn't they have?? I strongly believe, they would. In spite of all limitations, they would do that special bit, for that special someone. And more often than once a year, for sure!!

I believe that I would never want go out on Valentine's day with Mr.Pea. Because, we would want to spend some time together, away from the clatter and clutter, of a noisy tribe, celebrating something, just for the sake of celebrations. Instead, I'd like to be with my dear ones, loved just as much as any other day of the calender, and sharing the beautiful feeling of Love, all through, with just us, and ours. And while the world goes ga-ga over a Valentine's Day, we'd be waking up to the same sun rays, and sipping the normal routine coffee and having the same silly tiffs, pouting and then making up; going for work, and getting home, for a quiet dinner and going to sleep, thinking how much more blessed could we be, for, we share the Love of a lifetime!! And to me, no day could beat that one! :)

Foot note: Happy Valentine's Day to believers! And Happy Loving to the rest!! hehehe!! :)

Rape, Again... This time more brutal :(

2009-02-08T20:56:00.000-08:00

It all happened yesterday. And near our Institute of Maternal and Child Health(IMCH), a wing of Calicut Medical College. A two and a half year old girl was brutally raped last night, in the vicinity of the IMCH. The victim and her parents are street dwellers, and the mother was in labor last night, when the unfortunate (heinous) crime occurred. The child was found missing in the night, and the search began since then. The mother delivered another baby girl, while the father went on a frantic search. The child was found near the sidewalk, adjacent to a milk booth, in the wee hours of the morning. This event has been so shocking, that it is a child, whom I have seen quite so much, since they live near our college, on the streets. I can't digest this news, nor can i even think of someone actually raping a two year old. Could anything be worse than this? I am left speechless. I just had to share this with someone, and so I am here penning this out. Have an exam at 2 pm..I'll be walking by the child, once again...And I'll never be peaceful near the milk booth, where we go for coffee during late evenings and after classes. Everything seems nightmarish right now. I'll be back in the evening to fill in this space. Till then, I hope I can give my exams proper in such a state of mind :(

P.S # I had promised I'd be back...But, I ain't in great spirits to write any further.So, I'd just stop here.

Rape...

2009-02-05T03:28:00.000-08:00

I just went through the post by IHM regarding the trivialization of sexual abuses against women. It is indeed so pathetic, the fact that our society can still laugh at sexual abuses, and even worse, find a sadistic pleasure in victimizing the ill-fated. "Inviting trouble", " Provocative Dressing" - phrases to justify the heinous crime of sexual abuse? I fail to understand, why does the society pay no heed to the serious offense against women? Why does it become a social stigma, to fight for oneself and one's rights and ideals? The so called educated people would rather ignore and avoid facing such an issue. Imagine the fate of those people in the rural areas of the country, where exploitation is almost like a routine incident. Pathetic, ain't this society where we dwell in? I know that typing out a few words of disgust and anger, doesn't help. But, maybe, it can give a perspective to someone who hasn't thought of this ever. Someone who's been lucky enough to have never come across this. And for the sake of public awareness, I'd like to share a true event, that I have been destined to witness.

Being a part of the medical fraternity, I have come across quite a lot of cases of sexual abuses, brought into our Hospital. Some, that have been out in public, and some, that hasn't. It was in the third year of college, during a ward posting at OBS-GYN, that I came across a case of brutal rape. The victim ( I shall call her K), K, a child of mere 11, was brought into the ER, with a case of severe injuries. I remember being there, witnessing the entire procedure. Her frail little body was torn apart, by the brutal assault by her 71 year old grandfather. The girl was brought in unconscious, with abrasions and concussions all over. We were at a loss initially, not knowing how to handle something so traumatic. We were just required to take case history and stuff, as a part of our curriculum. But watching, was traumatic enough.

The entire medical evaluation took a few hours. For, the lesions and bruises had been severe. Apart from genital injuries , the extra genital injuries included a broken rib and acute pancreatitis. After hours of cleaning and stitching up, she was moved into the Post-Operative ICU. I remember going to the canteen after the procedure, to have something to drink. But none of us ever uttered a word, nor could we even take a sip of water. The terror and the trauma, we suffered witnessing the event, is still fresh. I still remember the events so sickening.

After a week, she was moved to the general ward, and for the first time I saw her conscious, during one of the rounds with the residents. We, the students, are required to select a few cases according to our preference and take detailed a case history of each- which includes the personal history of the patient, the symptoms, conditions, vital stat tests and then come to a conclusion regarding the diagnosis and the treatment. And in most cases, there erupts serious fights for any case out of the ordinary. It was just the same here too. Every student wanted this case, and the constant ruthless questioning and re accounting of the traumatic events made some of us sick. Finally, after a lot of conversations(read- cat fights), we managed to stop these sessions of torture. As though she could tolerate more of trauma, esp by the so called healers.

I know that the physical injuries fade away with time. But what of the acute mental and emotional damage, that has befallen upon the victim, a child, no more than 11. The age when one learns, and builds one's personality and future, has been snatched away from this little girl.And the one who she had trusted to be family, has ripped away her self respect, her dreams, her future. And yet, she has to go back to the rat hole, as though, nothing ever happened. How sick, is that?

K, told some of us that she wants to go back to school, and that her mother has asked her to forget the event, and go back to the very same house where her grandfather stays. I couldn't utter a word. How is anyone expected to forget such an incident? How could anyone wipe it away? And worse, how could any mother ask her child to walk right back into danger? Despite the counseling sessions and the promise of help by NGO's, the mother refused to move K out of the house. And, I remember having to watch the little girl leave hospital after a few weeks, with the same insane and inhumane, pervert S-O-B grandfather(Can't help the abusive language. Animals like him can't be addressed as anything but that). I still can't forget the look on her face, when she was leaving the hospital.

For those wondering, a case was indeed registered by the police. But the victim and her family never agreed to file a case, in person though.

Some of these experiences makes one lose all faith in humanity, if something of that sort, ever does exist. But after a while, everything sinks back into the hidden folds of memory. And none but the victims, would remember something of this sort had happened, once. That is I guess, human nature... And despite of all the guilt and anger I'd felt then wasn't reminded of K, until today, when I read IHM's post. And, once again that guilt and hurt, has surfaced. But I know, sadly, it wouldn't last long.

Shameless, ain't we??

Another Random Tag!!

2009-02-03T18:48:00.000-08:00

Here is another tag, this time, from Prabhu. I hope it gets to be as much fun as the earlier tags!! :

What does your user name mean?

Adorablesasha!! It just says Sasha is adorable :P (narcissism!! lol)

Elaborate on your user photo.

Well...That is a couple of months old... There is me, on my table, surrounded with all my usual junk. (Books included!!)

How many comments do you have?

Errr.... I have no clues! And am dead lazy to go back n count! The previous post has 9 comments! I guess that would do. *innocent-look* :D

What's your current relationship status?

Self-proclaimed Married!! But in real, the status would be In a relationship, waiting to be engaged!! :P (Desperate eh? yeah!! sigh :D)

What exactly are you wearing right now?

Oopz! I am juz out of bed...So, am wearing a pink three-fourths and a blue T-shirt :D

What is your current problem?

Hmmmm... EXAMS!! Dead worried about exams, and yet I am here, leisurely typing all this out, getting a tag done! God, when would someone get some sense into me, I wonder?!??!

What do you love the most?

Myself? :D

What makes you most happy?

Being with loved ones :) And of recent, whenever I see a satellite call ID flashing on my cell phone!! That makes me the most happy!! :)

Are you musically inclined?

Well...Quite a bit, I'd rather say! dance and music goes hand in hand anyways! So, yea, I guess I am musically inclined!!

What would you do if you woke up one morning and found out you were on cocaine?

Check if am not out of stock by any chance :D

If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?

There is something I'd like to change. But that is a wee bit personal. So let it be :)

If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be?

A frogggyyyyy!! Hehe :P

Ever had a near-death experience?

Thankfully, none! *Touch wood*

Name an obvious quality you have.

Tolerance!! I have a very high threshold for tolerance! Don't lose my temper any soon! And people find me cheerful most of the time! So I guess that's it :)

What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?

Kenny Roger's My World Is Over

I didn't look over my shoulder
I wasn't ready for this
Didn't see the signs over the horizon
I was so sure that you would never leave
But you did

So sweep away the sand, and tide, the ocean, and just
Pack the moon and stars up in a cardboard box, and
Stop the clouds from chimin'
Block the sun from shinin'
Paint the sky a deeper shade of blue
Cause my world's over without you

I know I should just keep goin'
But I don't know where to start
I never thought I'd see the day when
You'd go and leave me here with my broken heart,
But you did

CHORUS

Maybe someday all the pain will fade
Maybe this hurt will slowly slip away
Maybe some days will never change
And I'll still love you

Stop the clouds from chimin'
Block the sun from shinin'
Paint the sky a deeper shade of blue
Cause my world's over without you

My world's over without you..

Stop the clouds from chimin'
Stop the clouds from chimin'
Block the sun from shinin'
Block the sun from shinin'
Are you happy today?

Name someone with the same birthday as you.

José Saramago- He is the author of my all time favorite novel - Blindness!! So, I just get extremely hyper that we happen to share our birthday!!

Do you have a secret crush on someone?

Naaah! Its no secret now :P

Do you have a garbage disposal in your kitchen sink?

Guess not! I mean I don't know :D

Have you ever been in a fight?

I thought that one is quite obvious! The answer is YES!! And most times, its been fun :P

Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?

Say, 60-70 people would count as a large audience? If that is true, then the answer is Yes!! But itz in school..lolz!!

What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?

The attitude and personality, how he carries himself!

What's your biggest mistake?

Hmmm... I have no clues which one it is :P

Say something totally random about you.

Fun!!

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?

Yeah! Have heard that one quite a few times :D Juz dont ask which one!!

Are you comfortable with your height?

Naaah!! Wish I were taller!! Sigh!

What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?

Carry a strand of my hair in his wallet for 6 months!!! That felt crazy and yet, romantic, to me!! Hehe :P (I don't know if it can be considered as something done "for" me though!! Hehe)

What are your favourite smells?

Davidoff Cool water, His aftershave, Smell of petrol, Fresh brewed coffee.

What's something that really annoys you?

Inconsiderate people, they really bug the hell out of me!

What's something you really like?

The smile on a baby's face :)

Do you give random hugs and kisses?

Nopes, I don't really!

What's the latest you have ever stayed up?

Have gone without sleep for a max of 48 hours, without even blinking an eyelid!! But then, 24 hours of being up, is pretty common during exams! Yea, I know, am getting nearer to having one of those!!

Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room?

Yes! But in a different context though!!

Now, to pass the tag on:

Praveen

Tara

Vrinda

Of Words and Images - A Tag!

2009-02-02T01:20:00.000-08:00

Am tagged by Usha mema for this one! Lets see how I end up doing it :P

The rule goes thus-I'm supposed to be pasting an image for every answer of mine,from the first page of google image search,with minimal explanation.

The age you will be in your next birthday:

Errr...Its said that you shouldn't ask a lady her age...! :D But then, I might as well share mine- 24!!

A place you’d like to travel to:Bora Bora, Tahiti! An island surrounded by a lagoon and a barrier reef...A mystic land of golden sands and bluest of waters...! Ah, I feel like getting away right away :P

Your Favorite place:

Home, sweet home!! There's no where else I'd rather be! The warmest nest, that I'd never ever wanna leave...That is home for me! :)

Your favorite food/drink:

A glass of Ice Cold Water! There's nothing to beat that one..Cool and soothing, it just rejuvenates me, to the maximum. Being the no-tea-no-coffee-no soft drink-no beverage person that I am( unless its exams -coffee or somewhere out with friends- soft drinks), water is just the perfect drink :)

Your favorite pets:

Puggyyyyy...! I sure ain't someone whom Maneka Gandhi would be pleased to meet :P For, I have absolutely no positive inclination to pets.I am literally scared (yea, I am :P) of all sorta animals. Even a kitten can scare me off my wits :D But, since the other pea is an ardent pet lover, we have had our share of arguments regarding the matter of keeping a pet later on. Finally, I have agreed to give in, for a Pug! Courtesy the Hutch ad! Hehe!

Your favorite color combination: Black and Red!! That, for me, is a killer combination. Dangerously exciting, and yet dead solid :)

Your favorite piece of clothing:

Well even my blog says it out loud!! Blue Jeans!! With a White Shirt...!! Nothing can beat that one!! :)

Your all time favorite songs:

Enigma - The Child in Us. Enigma has been my all time favorite in music. This track, The Child in Us, transports me to a mystic realm of calm and it relaxes my senses, always! Sharing the lyrics here:

prasanna vadanaaM saubhaagyadaaM bhaagyadaaM
hastaabhyaaM abhayapradaaM maNigaNair-
naanaavidhair-bhuushhitaaM who is of smiling face, bestower of all fortunes,
whose hands are ready to rescue anyone from fear,
who is adorned by various ornaments with precious stones
Puer natus est nobis,
et filius datus est nobis:
cujus emperium super humerum...
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given:
and the government will be upon his shoulder..
Some day you came
And I knew you were the one
You were the rain, you were the sun
But I needed both, cause I needed you
You were the one
I was dreaming of all my life
When it is dark you are my light
But don't forget
Who's always our guide
It is the child in us

The translation:

(translation:
Who is of smiling face, bestower of all fortunes,
Whose hands are ready to rescue anyone from fear,
Who is adorned by various ornaments with precious stones )

Puer natus est nobis,
Et filius datus est nobis:
Cujus emperium super humerum... for to us a child is born,
To us a son is given:
And the government will be upon his
Shoulder..

Some day you came
And I knew you were the one
You were the rain, you were the sun
But I needed both, cause I needed you
.
You were the one
I was dreaming of all my life
When it is dark you are my light
But don’t forget
Who’s always our guide
.
It is the child in us.

Your favorite TV show:

Am not into watching the idiot box, unless am left with nothing to do!! But if at all i tend to watch TV, it has to be the cartoon series, Popeye, the sailor man! Juz adore it..hehe!! *innocent-look* :D

Full name of your significant other:

Well... I'd rather not put the name right out here...Let's call him Mr.Pea... The "other" pea of the pod! Courtesy, Usha mema!! Hehehe! :D

The town in which you live in:

Well...The land where Vasco da Gama first landed in 1498. That ought to say enough, I guess! Else, just revise your history lessons at school. Hehe:P

Your screen name/nickname:

Sashu...!!! :)

Your first job:

Since am still at college, I haven't had a first job, till date! Hopefully soon!! :)

Your Dream Job:

To have a Drug Discovery by my name :) Research in Drug Design and Toxicology seems to something that I'd love to be associated with. Maybe, someday....!!! :)

Bad Habit you have:

Nail biting! Yea, I still bite my nails, at times..It's an On-off bad habit of mine. Need to stop doing it though..Sigh!

Your worst fear:

Losing loved ones... :(

The one thing you’ll like to do before you die:

Publish my own book!! Hehe! I have no clues regarding what sort of book - poetry/novel/biography...And I really don't care which one :P Just know that I'd love to have one on my name! If wishes were horses....! Lol :P

The first thing you’ll buy if you get $1,000,000:

Well, it is something I would buy even if I don't get $1,000,000...Hehe! Its a Rolex Watch for my Dad. Something he wouldn't get for himself, ever. He considers even the tiniest of indulgences, an extravagance, when it happens to be something, for him! And yet, he never ever fails to smile even after I blow up a bundle on any of my crazy whims!! That's my dad dear, and for him, I'd wanna get his favorite watch! And pretty soon too!! Just wanna start earning...For that I need to get out of college...And for that I need to clear my exams... By the way, I have my final exams from Feb 17... So, people, what are you waiting for? Start praying for me :P

Well, am done with this tag too! It sure was fun :) I have cheated with the image part though...It ain't always from the first page of google search :D Couldn't help it. *Grins*!!!

Holding Hands- A Tag!!

2009-02-01T19:30:00.000-08:00

This is a tag from Rukhiya, and its been a helluva long time since I've been tagged by her...Firstly let me apologize for the delay. Hmmm... The tag is all about what holding hands mean to us. Let me try to put my thoughts into words, here!

For me holding hands is a simple expression of a lovely sentiment- Love. It may come out in different hues:

- Care : A gentle touch, a holding of hands...It shows how much you care for a person.It makes one feel safe and secure, peaceful and loved.

- Affection:
When you smile or pout or just be, and someone dear just catches hold of your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, I bet, it feels so wonderful...To know that you are adored, and the heart is so full of affection for you... It just adds a glow, doesn't it?

- Security: Imagine walking along a deserted lane, say at night, and you want to be brave, and yet there's just a hint of uneasiness in you, which you do not mention about. And despite the fact that you haven't given out what is in your mind, that dear someone holds your hand, without even a word shared...It says out so loud "I care for you. And I don't want any harm to befall on you..."

- Faith: When you take a real hard stance over something in life, against the norms and preexisting monotony of life, and you want nothing but some faith. And that holding of hands, just redeems your faith, in yourself. And it comes as a solid pillar, of trust, of hope, of belief and faith!

- Love: Always special, holding hands is like a promise, of sharing, and being there, for each other, through thick and thin...It makes one feel how lucky one is- to have found one's hand twin ( Rukhiya, I borrowed your phrase!! ) Truly blissful, the feeling!

Well, that is all about holding hands...! Be free to add your views along, if you'd like :)

The Proximity Award

2009-01-13T01:33:00.000-08:00

I had been just so lazy and so very busy (if they could go hand-in-hand, that is) to even receive this award! So first of all, I'd like to apologize for this delay. Kindly excuse me :) I take this award so very close to my heart. Thanks to Usha mema, Rukhiya and Rini. Thank you very much!

I came in to the virtual world to find a space to express, and to share. But the best that the virtual space has offered me till date, are friends like you :) I appreciate that to the utmost! Am glad to have been a recepient of this award. Humbled, and delighted!

A small note of gratitude :

Usha Mema : I don't have words to describe you, and I wouldn't dream of even trying to...! Thanks for being all that you are for me, to me, not just here, but in the 'real' world too! Thank You!!

Rukhiya : The ever vibrant 'medizen' gal, who spuns classic poetry! A dear friend, and a constant inspiration. Thanks a million!

Rini : I very well remember the first ever poem I read of Rini - 'At table no.5 with dad'... And it had struck me with sheer empathy then, and it still remains one of my all time favourites. Thanks a lot Rini for the wonderful lines, and for being the inspiring person that you are!

The Citation of the Proximity Award
These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.

I am glad to pass it on to :

Congratulations to everyone!! And thanks for being a part of my little world :)

Awarded :)

2008-11-29T08:01:00.000-08:00

I guess, November has proved to be Sweet, once again! I have just been conferred the Free Spirited and Independent Blogger Award, by Usha mema, Shalini, Praveen and Rini. Firstly I'd want to thank them, for this rare honour!!! Thank you!

And now to pass it on. I would want to share this with:

1. Rukhiya

2. Jagadeesh

3. Soumya

Congratulations everyone!!!

Feminism - A Tag!

2008-11-29T06:05:00.000-08:00

Well, to be on the safe side, let me make it clear that this topic is a bit too heavy for the little brain of mine to even try to comprehend, forget expressing it in words. But since I have been tagged by Usha mema, am left with no way to excuse myself out of this. So, do put up with me and my mostly insane ideologies and opinions.

Feminism! According to Wikipedia, it is termed to be the belief in the political, social, and economic equality of women. It has been said that feminism has an elaborate history, with theories and philosophies that has changed across the centuries. What I am going to type further may not find many takers, especially amongst the fairer sex.

Centuries ago, feminism gained roots in a society dominated by men and only men. There was no doubt, an era, when the female fetus was ruthlessly murdered, and the girl child was sold off, as young brides, and at other times, for money. Then there were inhuman practices, where the widow had to burn herself alive in her husband's funeral pyre. And the inequalities prevailed as injustices. The families revolved around the boy child, while the girl child was suppressed and shoved behind the veils. The society was built of men, with no space for the fairer sex, better termed as the weaker sex, in all respects. When women all over the world got to know of the cruel injustices prevailing all over, there erupted the seed of feminism- a unison for a righteous cause. And no doubt, it got to be a constant hit.

But now, things have changed and are continuously changing. Now there is equality in almost all aspects of life. Women have come across to outshine the men in every realm of life. Am glad that I belong to this decade, this society of today, where I have the choice and freedom to express my views and opinions. But I find many, who still argue relentlessly over the so called gender bias, and harassment.I wonder out aloud, is the whole ideology of feminism and all the rules of reservation and rules against harassment of women that go with it, a source of sheer arrogance and assured comfort for the woman or does the everyday commonplace woman fully understand the importance of the flowery dream of ‘equality of the sexes’? Ain't it an irony in itself that the women who cry aloud feminism, actually revel under the gender based privileges offered to them, and yet are obsessed with the so called equality factor!?!

I have a feeling that I might be stoned by my counterparts for this one. I do acknowledge the fact that there a still many who suffer under the truancy of men. But there are injustices in every aspect of life. And it is not inflicted based on the gender differences, and has broader dimensions today. What I have tried to focus on, is the modern day women, and the society of which I am an integral part. And I truly believe that the world is as much mine, as it is yours, or anyone else's, for that matter. And that is just the reason why I find no interest or empathy towards feminism.

Well, I'd like to hear it from you people now. Let me just sign off this write up with an optimistic note, that I be spared :)

The Big Fat Kerala Wedding!!

2008-11-23T00:59:00.000-08:00

Phew!! I am just back after attending another of those Big Fat Kerala Weddings!

Being relatives(Huh! Don't get me started with the pedagogy though, It'd eat up the entire space here!), I couldn't make up excuses to skip this one. Not that I didn't try. Even tried enacting a scene out of Tom Sawyer's life, feinting sick. But even my 65 year old grandma is too smart for her age! She just wouldn't budge. So with no way out, I gave in, for the slaughter.

The wedding was held at Ashirwad lawns, one of the best auditoriums of our city. (Well...Why the heck am I typing out the details, as if you'd care :D ) Anyways, I reached there a good 2 hours early. Courtesy my grandma, who has a certain specialized form of OCD( Obsessive compulsive disorder)where she'd get ready hours and hours before time, and worst of all, expect the same out of me too.And you must have guessed by now,I am just darn lazy. But when she gets into one of those moods, there's no way out. Today being one of those days, I didn't even try to coax her out of it. And we ended up arriving along with the catering team, and the decoration agency. And had the best times of life inviting the bride's family in! How gross, nay?

I didn't keep my mouth shut, all the while nagging my grandma. But pretty soon, the scenario changed. And I got to be the victim. Came into scene, all the aunts and great aunts, whose sole interest seemed to be me and my wedding plans. God! I wonder, don't these ladies have nothing to do? The silly remarks and all the teasing and taunting that seemed no a less torture than being force fed poison, they never left me at peace! Some seemed to be walking marriage bureaus, stunning me with proposals all the time we came face to face! I tried to fake grand smiles and even tried my hand at giving the typical *shy-gonna be-bride* smiles!! Phew! I could have choked one of them, for sure!

As though I hadn't had enough, there came in the rush of all uncles and wise old men. Their interest basically revolved around my parents. To be exact, the very fact that my parents weren't present for the wedding. Now, how could someone expect dad to come down all the way to India, just to attend his wife's great aunt's son's daughter's husband's sister's daughter's wedding??? Beats me, truly! I managed to give in sympathetic nods and *yeah-i-couldn't-have-agreed-more* looks!! Another breed wanted to know of the current health scenario, and the income prospects after my graduation. What the heck? If I had some clues, I'd be doing something worthwhile than attending this wedding!!

Somehow, I managed to move into the dressing room, where sat the dainty bride! God!! I literally had a fright seeing her! She couldn't have been made up to look worse than this. The layers and layers and layers of make up made her seem like an alien! And all the glittering gold! Pity, the girl couldn't walk proper, weighed down by all that gold! I stood watching her in awe. The very fact that she seemed to be enjoying it made me go bonkers! Beats me, how one could tolerate this show off parade?!?! Gives me creeps, this kinda attitude!!

I walked away and managed to find a chair away from the horde of relatives. Several rows behind, I sat with people who seemed to be mere acquaintances of the groom's family. Lucky me! I didn't have to endure more of the "Oh! Its time for your wedding dear? You'd prefer an engineer in the US? I have just the perfect guy for you!" and "Oh, you look so lean! Mom's not even bothered, is it poor gal? Come over to aunts house, I'l fatten you up" (As though I needed more of fat over me...Yucks!)conversations! I did manage to catch in snippets of conversations here and there, regarding estimations of the bride's gold, the umpteen faults with the wedding arrangements and comparisons with previous wedding bashes!!

I just have no idea how I managed to endure the hours spent in the freak place! Finally, it was time to leave and I just uttered a silent prayer!!

Thank God!!!!!! No more of these Big Fat Weddings, please!!!!!

A Tinge of Butterfly Colours :)

2008-11-22T20:41:00.000-08:00

Being so very new into the world of actual blogging, this has come as a huge surprise!! A pleasant one no doubt! Firstly I'd wanna thank Praveen and Usha mema , for awarding me this lovely butterfly! Thanks a bunch :) It has colored my day to such a great extend! Thank You!!

I guess I am supposed to pass the award onto fellow bloggers whom I enjoy reading. Here are the rules regarding the award!

1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded it to you.
3. Link the bloggers whom you wanted to share this award to.

So, I'd like to pass the Butterfly Award onto:

1. Soumya

2. Man in Painting

3. Vrinda

4. Aria

5. Shalini

Congrats to everyone!! :)

Ah! Love Bites!!

2008-11-20T21:33:00.000-08:00

Love Bites!!

I am not talking of those love bites that are often masked with the dab of compact or concealer. No, no... Am talking of the emotional trauma and pain that often comes along with love. Most of it are tolerable, when you know the love is mutual and the pain is just momentary. When in love, the emotional strings attached are often sources of enormous joy as well as sorrow. You get affected by every slight change in your lover. The attitude, the words, the silence- everything finds a new meaning, different each time over. And its a dependence that drags you in, deeper and deeper with each passing day. But as rightly said, there is a hidden pleasure behind these momentary tiffs and heart aches. For, end of the day, there is always a sweet making up, and you bond closer than before! So in steady relationships love bites just add spice to the blooming love!

But in case of a love unrequited, the heart ache is rather a heart break. Watching the one person, for whom you could even try eating broccoli, (er...figurative, you can pick your own food, the one thing you earnestly dislike!) walk away, is one of the hardest things in life. And often, it leaves a scar that cannot be wiped off. Yeah, time does play the role of a concealer as it heals the ache over time. Some of these lonely hearts try to find another heart with which it can start a new therapy, while certain others switch over to the Devdas Era, and then there's a sudden boom in the liquor and beverages industry. I often wonder how would these beverage corps do without these Devdas-es! God bless these guys! They help an industry survive! Truly magnanimous, ain't they?

Yeah, talking about love bites, there's a third category. Here the victims are actually innocent. They would have just rejected some proposal and continued with their lives, without bothering or even noticing the love bite on their counterparts in this drama. And then the other person gets violent and revengeful and the whole scene gets messy. Here there is victimization where the innocent gets a love bite, despite having no definite role to play. And I gather this is the hardest of love bites!

So love hurts... If not you, it hurts some one else...! Yet, there's nothing like Love!!! Its the only pure emotion that has the power to change your world and mine!! Ain't it in itself a contradiction??!

Ah! Love bites!!

The Calling....!

2008-11-20T19:33:00.000-08:00

1 January 2008.
00.00am

I walked across the room to the wall where hung the calender. Crossing off the 31st of December, I stood in deep thought.Its January 1st already! The one day that could change my world upside down. Anticipation flooded my senses and I felt butterflies play a symphony in my tummy. Sitting on my bed, My hands cupped in prayer, I closed my eyes and meditated. In the muted silence of the night, the only other sounds were the occasional vehicles on the road and the buzz of mosquitoes. I tried to shut my eyes close and sleep. But in vain. Restless, I got out of my bed and decided to checklist the items for the day.

The pink salwar kameez, all pressed without even a single crease, lay on the hanger, safe. I opened the clutch purse and counted the cash once again. 5 grand and some odd change. The lipstick and compact had cost me a bundle. Yet, I needed them for the day and had picked it up with no guilt pangs. I put them back into the purse and decided to sleep. Switching off the lights, I hit the bed.

07.00am

I don't know when I slipped into sleep last night. Now the time showed 7am. I rushed in for a shower. Slipping into the new salwar suit, I felt pretty. Admiring myself in the mirror I smiled. "Not bad, not bad at all" At 5 feet 8 inches, I stood taller than most Indian women. With a fair skin and long curly hair, I have always managed to turn heads where ever I go. Once again, the knot in my stomach churned and I blushed red in excitement. The time sped by as I fixed my curls and dabbed on some make up.

10.00am

I yelled a goodbye to my mom and walked out of our apartment. The traffic was terrible as usual. There are times when I wished I were rich, just to be able to afford a helicopter to avoid the hurdles of Mumbai traffic. But then as the saying goes, If wishes were horses....! I waited for a rickshaw for a while. And finally found one. I hopped in, with no time to spare.

"Bhaiyya, Orchid Hotel, Nehru Road. Zara tez chalana, thodi jaldi me hu"

"Humphhhhh"

I sat back, the nervousness reaching up to a state of paranoia. It was to be our first meeting. I met Rakesh on the internet around 6 months back. He is basically from Delhi. But after his graduation he left for the US, where he completed his post graduation at Arizona University and is currently working as a software engineer in the US. And that's exactly what I was planning to do. I planned to get into Arizona University for my Masters. My parents would never approve nor could they afford to send me to the US for studies. And I hated being poor, for this reason and a hell lot more. Anyways, the job at the BPO had given me a source of income. And I had somehow managed to give my GRE and the score being decent enough would fetch me a seat abroad. But applying to universities had been a pain, for the cash requirements were too much for me to handle. But thanks to Rakesh, I could apply to quite a few universities. Coming to Rakesh, I sure hoped he looks handsome and smart. The anxiety seemed to rise with each passing moment!

10.45am

"Orchid"

I awoke from my reverie. "Kitna hua?"

"Thees rupaiyya"

I paid the cash and walked in through the gates. Its the first time I've ever set my foot at Orchid. I felt nervous and very much out of place. I walked into the restaurant, and with the help of the manager I found the table reserved for us. I sat down, a nervous wreck, expecting my Prince Charming to come any moment and sweep me off my feet. I felt a hand on my shoulder. Startled, I turned back.

Freeze!!!

The whole scene froze before my eyes. I found a dark, pudgy man with a receding hairline and cleft lips. My hands trembled, my eyes failed to focus. I passed out, I gather.

11.30am

My head really ached, and I felt all dizzy. The room felt oddly strange and I managed to sit up on the bed. Rakesh was sitting next to me, holding my hands in his. I felt sick, nauseous.

"Kya hua jaan? You alright now?"

"ummm... Nothing ... I just have a nasty headache"

"Don't worry darling. I'll get you an aspirin. You rest up. I'll be right back"

I watched the beefy man walk out of the room. I felt disgusted, and hurt.The disappointment crept in and I felt anger at myself rising. All I wanted to do was leave. I stood up still feeling dizzy, grabbed my purse and slipped into my sandals and was about to move about, when I found an envelope on the table, addressed to me. I opened it and found my visa processed, and there were the scholarship sanction and the admission letter from Arizona university.I felt weak all off the sudden. Torn between anger and desire, I sat down on the couch.

"Ah! Spoilsport! You spoiled my surprise. Anyways, Congrats sweetheart! You are flying to the US. Here's your aspirin."

I gulped down the tablet and looked at him and smiled weakly.

"Thanks a lot Rakesh", I managed to quip.

"Come on Neeta, this is the least I could do for you. Now smile baby, US is at your calling. "

I felt his hands on my shoulder once again. I felt the weight of the envelope pulling me down. He forced me to face him and I felt his cleft lips close down on mine.The nausea returned once again, and I felt the bile rise. Yet my eyes strayed onto the envelope and I never freed myself from him.

Everything turned smokey all off a sudden. I felt his hands all over me. I felt the weight of his body over me, pushing me down and hurting me. Then I felt no more. Everything happened in a haze and I kept replaying the Envelope in my mind...The Envelope...The Envelope...And I felt him shudder and go limp, over me. I closed my eyes shut. It was cold, all off a sudden.

After a while I heard his snores and I pushed his hand away from me. I slipped out of bed and held the envelope in my hand. Sitting on the couch, with a blanket over me, I looked out of the window...

...America, here I come, I whispered to no one...!

The Corridors of Time- Tagged :)

2008-11-19T19:33:00.000-08:00

It's the very first time I have been tagged... Thanks to Usha Mema, am ready for some action, and here I go...!!

-Yesterday
Your oldest memories

My oldest memories eh? Hmm... The earliest of memories I have is of my trip to India. I must have been almost two and half years of age. I remember vaguely the preparations for the trip, the endless hours of shopping, tagging along with mom and dad, whining and cribbing for a doll house, getting yelled upon, and still bawling at the loudest of voices. And I remember being granted my wish, sitting all smug in our car, admiring my very own doll house, while my mom and dad sat in muted silence... And I have vague memories of being friendly with an air hostess, with the same name as mine, getting a doll from her and visiting the air hostess cabin...Just vague memories, which I confirmed with my mom, just a while back!!!

And I remember my walks with grandpa, on most evenings of our vacation in India. Holding his hand, I'd walk to the small grocery shop near home and he'd talk to everyone on the streets, introduce me to them, saying I'm the foreign return kid (oooh... I loved hearing that!! hehe :D) And by late eve we'd walk back home with some peanuts in my hand... English was the only language I knew then, and I'd chatter endlessly with my grandpa, about life abroad, my school, mom and dad and much much more...! Missing Grandpa now :)

So thats it- my earliest, oldest memories!

-What were you doing ten years ago?

Ten years!! It seems like eons ago!! Ten years ago, I'd been in the stage of transition from a kid to a teenager... An age of all woes and a hell lot of attitude problems. With all the usual pangs of adolescence, rebellious in thoughts, yet not that brave to let the thoughts out. Friends meant the world to me, then. Studies were never much of a deal, for I've always managed to do well academically (*pats myself!!* hehe) Its also the time when I wrote my first poetry. I still remember the poem...It was an art project at school... Painting and renovation work was going on at home and amidst all the clutter and noise, I managed to find a peaceful spot and sat down to write my first poetry! Pleased with myself, I stepped out to get myself some water, during which someone got hold of my poetry. I heard the laughs downstairs and ran along, to find my poetry being scorned.... I still remember the anger and ache I felt at that moment... But then, I got the top scores at school for my poem. And ever since, I haven't let go of my poetry!! I guess this is the one gift I got ten years ago...! Apart from that, everything had been the same...The normal life of a 13 year old...!

-Today

Today, am glad I'm me!! Truly narcissistic a statement, I know! But then, I know I couldn't have asked for being anyone other than me. I enjoy my life, every single moment is special and utterly so...! I have the ups and downs of life, just as every one... Yet, I know I can manage it all.. In the final year of graduation, at CMC, I have reached that stage where I know that my college days are coming to an end, and soon, I'd be ready to step out into the actual space of Life and Living. But I look up to it with awe, and so full of dreams! And I believe, I'm gonna do it well and make it BIG!! :)

These five years at Calicut, have molded me to the person that I am. Juggling my time between studies and home, I know I have absorbed and learned, more than ever. College has been an enriching experience, academically and in terms of experiences. Have had a very topsy curvy life at college... With a lot of troubles starting from ragging to adjustment problems, tiffs with classmates, warnings from principal and a lot much more... Maybe I'd start off my college era as a separate post sometime, if there are any takers, I mean!

I had been at home with just my grandma for some time. And its been one of the best things that has happened to me.But these times of being together has changed me to an extend unexplainable!! From knowing to manage a household( Yups, I know it all...from pretty decent cooking to taking care of all the monthly bills, the medical check ups to the grocery shopping, the arguments at the fish markets to the maintenance works at home, its been an amazing experience that I'd never ever forget!), these days have made me the person I am, today! And I am indebted, to Life for throwing such experiences at my way...!!

-Tomorrow

Tomorrow...! I am currently on a month leave from college. So I'd be at home tomorrow. Have some chores at home to be done... Slaying the dragons, as Usha mema says...hehehe!! Apart from that, I need to pay the telephone bills and one of our taps have gone on strike..So need to get a plumber too. And maybe, I'd find some time to study. Have exams nearing. Final year, the pressure just kills...! So yea, that is about tomorrow!

-What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?

This is my favourite question in this tag :) 14 years from now, I find myself happy and gay, sharing my life with my adorable Googligan Husband ( Hehehehe!!!) and my lovely little kids - Nakshatra, Prithvi, Arthvika and Gagan!! ( Lolz... I have a liking for excess..! hehehe!!) and working, either at any hospital or else at any Pharma company in the United Kingdom( Well, my husband would get a posting there. So, fixing upon UK)!! That's the picture I have in my mind!! :)

There are a lot many more dreams and visions...But, I'd grade them personal...! So this is it for you to know!! :)

-If you build a time capsule what would it contain?

My family, friends and dear ones! A good luck charm I cherish so much, that my life could never be the same without it. Its a memoir from one of the dearest persons in my life, who unfortunately is no more... And my Diary, that has soaked in my tears and smiles, joys and sorrows! I guess that'd be it!! :)

It has been such a fabulous ride, this tag... Got me wind up and down the path of my life, till date!! Thanks once again Usha mema!!! And am I supposed to tag people now??? ( Am pretty ignorant about how this tag thingy works!! )

link

2008-10-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

http://www.wlwritersagency.com/?gclid=CN-qhfKzs5YCFRUYegod_kfYLw

Touch Wood

2008-09-21T20:10:00.000-07:00

The morning sun peeked in through the curtains. It irked me to no extend, having to wake up forcefully. Sigh! Mom was even more lenient than this, I fathomed. Reluctantly I sat up on the king size bed, stretched my arms wide.Ah! It feels good, after all!After what seems like a quarter of an hour , I forced myself out of the bed, the blankets tangled up, caught at my ankles. I pried open the knots. the clock showed 7am. Pretty early by my standards rather.

I went up to the television stand, put on a DVD in the player and went ahead with my morning ablutions. The music of Ghulam Ali filled the air. Soothing melodious ghazal "chupke chupke..." floated into my ears. Fresh as a daisy, I stepped out in my robe and started to rummage through the wardrobe. Am no celebrity to have oodles f clothes, but I do have a pretty good stock! Picking out blue denims n a white kurti, I change into it. Gosh, I need to lose weight! Its getting scary. And is that a pimple? Darn! After a vain attempt at cursing the pimple off,I moved onto make myself a cup of hot coffee... There's nothing like a warm coffee in morn, don't you agree?

I forced myself not to peek into your room. If you can play the game, so canI. Ii tiptoed into the kitchen, fixed myself a coffee n toast. My thoughts mauled at me- do I make some for you too? And would you accept it or just toss it away? My already battered ego needs no further toss. So I decided against it. Sipping coffee and reading the newspaper, I sat in the kitchen. After a while I heard a range of swearing and cursing, from your room. I felt good, knowing that you are finding it hard to manage without me. A wee bit proud of myself, if you can understand. And then, I heard the door slammed shut- the bathroom door, I gathered. And I chuckled.

Clearing off my breakfast, I got ready for the day out. Being a no-fuss person I don't take too much time to get ready! Actually speaking, everyone in my family says am a quickie in everything. Guess so! With my hair tied up in a pony tail, kohl lined eyes and a shade of nude lip gloss, am ready for the day. I wonder if I should tell you that am leaving, and decided to leave a note by the refrigerator. I know you'd never miss your morning juice. So a note I penned "Off now. Back by 7. Pick up the car from the garage and don't forget to pay the electricity bills. Bye."I wanted to sign off with "love"! But my ego hesitated, and so did I.

I drove away.
.
.
.
Its almost 7pm.A couple of minutes early, I noted. Clicking open the lock, I entered into the pitch darkness of the house. Switching on the lights, I found its still dark. Darn! You must have not paid the bills, I mutter in irritation. And as I move into my room,I find your room to be lit in a soft light. Tip-toeing I entered your room. Lo! I find someone dozing in front of the candle, head on the table. I find a book at the foot of the bed, clothes all over the place and coffee spilled over the table. Irked, I were. Yet, I couldn't suppress a smile, watching you sleep ever so innocent. So I decide to give it up. (As always, you win!)

Heylo... Get up, will you?

Uh? What?

Hehe... Its almost dinner time. And God, what a mess? And no power too...Forgot again, eh?

Yeah...Kinda...Hope you ain't mad at me...?

Never mind... Now budge and ring for a pizza.

I light a candle and clear the room, while you help me with the dinner. Well, dialing for a pizza is help, after all, ain't it?
.
.
.
A candle burns at the distance, as we dig in at the pizza, laughing at ourselves.
Together, we make the best out of everything, don't we? you ask, staring at me intense.
yeah! I nod in agreement.
Some times I feel so blessed, and I guess this is one of those times!

Touch Wood!!

First Day at College

2008-06-26T08:28:00.000-07:00

First Day at College!!

I walked in through the college gate and reached the portico. Calicut Medical College- embossed in thick, the words rang a tinkle in my mind! Pleasure, of being there!

Gently moved in, the corridor seemed crowded- seniors, juniors- all the usual horde. Feeling all confident (overconfident!) i walked in, i headed straight to the co-operative store... Wanted to buy myself a few pens. The place seemed highly crowded and there were just two men in the store; one of them sitting in leisure, playing on his cell phone, at the cashier's desk. the other guy seemed to strain so hard to meet to all the demands of the people. He seemed so very tired. I couldn't stay silent. i went over to the guy(handsome, i must add) at the cashier's desk and gave him a "how-derogatory-look". He looked puzzled at first.

Then asked "What could i do for you? "

All smug, i replied :"Can't you see the poor chap's state? He's working so hard while you sit and play with your cell phone.. Got some conscience?Can't you offer some help?"

"Am sorry.. I got carried away madam. What do you want?"

I felt good and calm. Relaxed, i gave my order. all done, I walked my way back to class.
Half way, i heard a voice, calling out to me, asking me to stop. Confused, i turned back! And lo-

Walking over to me, the cashier chap, with his white coat on, a Steth draped around his neck, all smiles. Petrified i stood watching. Gasp, I'd goofed up, yet again!!!

Smiling my all-embarrassed-smile, i stood. He walked over to me and said teasing "You need anything, just gimme a buzz... Am Rahul, final year." Smiling hard, he walked away.
I stood stone-like, watching him go. And as he reached the stairs, he turned back and gave a wink! And i smiled, sheepishly!

A fab first day, ain't it? ;)

2008-04-20T06:08:00.000-07:00

its been a long while since i penned something in here... just get lazy...and then when i get into the mood to pen something, i pen it as verse! its shorter and less time consuming for me :D hehe!
well... today, i feel like there is such a calm feeling all over , n all around me- that makes me feel so fresh!

sometimes i feel the world is a funny place to live in... the vibrant people, the variety of living and non living. everything appears like a bright carpet strung along with the many gray shades. nevertheless the world is a nice place to be at...

just need the right spirit, the strength to let oneself succumb to humane weaknesses, and yearn to get out of it.. :) that just makes life, beautiful!!!

Narcissistic me!

2008-03-04T06:56:00.001-08:00

i just wonder if i have an existence distinctly unique? or is just a desire, a longing to be unique?

as usual i don't make any sense, i know. but then, i keep imagining myself to be special. to be touched by the gift of god, in a special way! strange ain't it? narcissistic desires!!!! phew, i sure am narcissistic, for one thing.

well,

is it a problem or a disorder, if i happen to like myself , a bit, errr... maybe a li'll too much!!!!

hmmm.... i just don't get it!!!

what if am my best friend?!? would ya call that narcissism??

what if i love myself for the little things i do?? is that again self-love?

hmm, i just dunno!

and maybe, i'l neva get to know too...!

then why the heck am i typing all this out, i wonder?!?!?

29 february 2008!!!

2008-02-29T18:09:00.000-08:00

2008, a leap year!!!!

strange!! i feel this leap year thing is very strange... not for its existence... but for its face value!
i mean, its not very often that ya come across a feb 29th! n when it comes, it never creates a bang...it just goes by unnoticed...why??

i often wonder about people who are born on feb 29th! celebrating birthdays ain't important...but calculating them could turn tricky! and somehow i have a huge fascination for people born on this day! but i hardly know anyone! thats the sad part!

just as i am penning this down i get this urge of getting married on a feb 29th! i mean, that would cause a lotta benefits!

no yearly expenditure on gifts, parties, anniversary celebrations.
no fights and arguments over forgotten anniversaries
no chance of unwanted demands for treats at work and among friends
finally, when it comes once in 4 years, you just feel you-hafta make it special.

see, ain't it a wonderful romantic date to get married? maybe i should keep that in mind... the next one's in 2012.. gee..that is a long time ahead! hehe... maybe i should skip the feb 29th plans after all!!!! hehehe!

married bliss cant be delayed, can it be? :D

.

voids...

2008-02-29T17:59:00.000-08:00

sometimes i often feel a void, a void that creeps in at me, pulling me in. and i wonder if its just a vague feeling of mine or does it really have any significance? i couldn't ask for more in my life...i have all that i have wished for, almost... it wouldn't be right to wish for more than this, i feel. i have my favorite career field, the best parents one cud wish for, a perfect sibling, the awesome horde f friends, the best mate...almost everything! *touch wood*

i have been accustomed to being alone, in one way or the other... and maybe so, the emotion of such devoted attachment fails me! or rather i fail. but as i sit back and ponder on it further, the questions starts gnawing at me... am i doing it purposefully? keeping a glass silhouette to cover myself from the eyes out there? i really cant find an answer to it, despite every single attempt.

its that which makes me really wonder...is it a psychological response? of my mind shutting off the essential truth about myself? well... here i go, yet again... life seems so simple at times, so simple...that i cant help but look out for the complications...

strange are the ways of life, even stranger the way human minds work...

how essentially true!!! ain't it?

Tale of testimonialz :)

2008-02-04T07:58:00.000-08:00

Here'z sumthin I'd cherish, all mah lyf !!!!!! :)

Dr.Jismi
A Friend Is Someone
Who Knows The Song In Ur Heart
And Can Sing It Back To You,
When U Have Forgotten The Words..!!
Take care my dear friend..miss u a lot!!

Eclatant
Hmm...there are many jingles which you can hear in your course of life and there are a few of them whom you cherish even in odd times..Sasha is one of that rather unique jingle whom i feel has that potential to make a mark of her own in everyone's life. I feel she has it in her DNA (maybe she mutated..lol!!!!)....no matter wherever she is, she has a very warm heart within herself. Aha, one more amazing thing about her is her ability to handle some of the most crucial parts of her life on her own without someone being right there for her. That makes me rather too compulsive to say that I salute her coz I don't think everyone has that. Amazing is what I would all say about her and she is the best companion for everyone..She is a girl with her own values & principles preserved in herself to the core.She is Cute,got the beautiful smile....so keep smiling for ever....& don't ever change cuz ur one of da Few good people on planet EARTH...God Bless Ya

Mabel
It's in the reach of her arms
The stride of her step,
The curl of her lips.

It's in the fire in her eyes,
The swing in her waist,
And the joy in her feet.

It's in the arch of her back,
The sun of her smile,
The grace of her style.

Head's not bowed.
She doesn't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.

I say,

It's in the click of her heels,
The bend of her hair,
the palm of her hand,
The need of her care,

'Cause she's a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's she... !

A fine blend of sophistication n innocence; maturity n childishness; beauty n brains; fun n seriousness; care n mischief; sunshine n occasional clouds; adventure n homeliness; she's a phenomenal person, she's Sashu!!

Love you, the way you are; proud of you, always!
soorya: To My Swt Frnd...

Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all angels in heaven know I need u. years may fly, tears may dry, but my friendship with u will never die.
I have seen angels in the sky… I have seen snowfall in july… I have seen things u only imagine to see… But I haven’t seen anything sweeter than u.
How can u tell the rain not 2 fall when clouds exist? How can u tell the leaves not 2 fall when wind exist? How can u tell me not to fall in friendship when u exist.
Sometimes my mind asked why? I miss u, Why? I care 4 u, Why? I remember u then my heart answered its simply b’coz you are a sweet friend! & be my frnd 4ever dear....

αηυ ... αмι∂ѕт: I know you are there,
You are always there.
You are the reassurance in my life,
Nudging me forever to go on and ‘live’ life.

A smile from you on a gloomy day,
A few kind words when the day seems gray.
An invisible yet powerful hug from across the miles,
Your kind gestures make a big difference in my life.

‘God – sent’ you are,
Like a guardian angel for me.
Nothing in the world ever,
Could stop me from trusting you blindly.

May God bless you always,
You are locked in my heart till eternity.

Nisha: What would i have done or been if only you werent my bestest friend!!!!!
It is not because you have a solution to all my problems but the way u can help me overcome the hurdles, and not because you were there to give me a shoulder to weep on, but because even across the distances you never let me feel the loneliness and its not because you made me laugh always but because of the ways you cheered me up in the gloominess. I never felt lonely ever, cos you never let me my dear. Whether others stay or not i am not sure...but am sure you are my friend,my bestest friend for a life time.

Arjun: missing you ain't new....but still itz like de very first tym...keep smilin....
god bless us

ChEtHaN !!!: ur an indispensable part of me which i can never ever part with..ur mah bestest friend n u will always be mah bestest friend..... .n i love u very very much

jismi: In my garden of life,ther an ever lasting flower...
a flower which blooms everyday
a flower tat hv alwayz spread itz sweet fragrance!!
Dear,im so lucky to hv u in life
ur my BEST FRIEND!!
I love u da!
I miss u so much!

bhagya: A friend is a tissue when you can't stop crying

A friend is a shoulder when you feel like dying

A friend always listens when you have something to say

A friend is a week when you just need a day

A friend is a crutch when you have a broken heart

A friend is a sun when the rain just won't stop

A friend is a phone call when you can't leave your home

A friend is a hand when you feel all alone

A friend is a wing if you want to fly

A friend understands without knowing why

A friend is an ear for a secret to tell

A friend is a love that can never let go

When it comes to Sashu, every line written above is far more sweeter than it really sounds.....

Love you lots, dear....

Sunita :
One of the most prolific poets i have come across in my life...she weaves words in such a way that one is left carrying the feelings in the heart....

I wish you all the best in ur every endeavour Sash..

God Bless U Dear :)

Pathik:
Beauty, Poise, Compassion, Loving nature, Kindness,Ambition, Style,etc,etc,etc. You name the qualities one looks for in a woman, Sash has it all. I know her since she was a teeny weeny teenager and she's still the same. She still has the same Zeal to live life to its fullest and knows how to create a perfect balance between friends, family and personal development.
She's one person whom I consider as one of my own, on Planet Earth. May god bless her with whatever she wants in life and May God Bless me with her friendship forever.

Ityaadi........:

I do not know your name
But I know your every song
Every poem of yours
I shall always sing along

Get set to get: My sweetest kiddo! Just wanna say a few things ....

Thanks a lot for making my life so meaningful and happy!

Thanks for making me realize things before they got nasty...

Thanks for being there always by my side....

I Love you my lil angel.....may happiness...peace and good health be always by your side!!!

└●Д╬ђμℓ●┐™: abt sash
she's one whom i really care abt... and one who really care for me..
i'm really happy having her in ma lyf..
she so cute...one with a 100watt smile...
she's a good philosopher too
always gives good advices too.....
luv yaa

... PsYcHe: Sashu has been gifted with the ability to bring a ray of sunshine into any room she enters. She is extremely personable, vibrant and a real joy to be around. She always has something interesting(including all those " God bless") to say and intrigue you with.She makes you laugh about the silliest things and puts a permanent smile on your face. Few people make a point of understanding or realizing their purpose in life. I believe she always knew it.

She is truly "spirit filled", and brimming over with an abundant joy that she shares with all who meet her. Her words, and her writing touch us in a special place in our hearts, filling the empty spaces with the emotional and spiritual sustenance that we all need so much.Gal I am blessed to know you!"

Thanks for all your friendship and precious wishes.

Wishing you Love and Light now and always! -

Meenakshi: Well not getting where to start from....... Jhoot bolu ya sach yeh bhi samjh nahi aa raha hain.... Hehe. Actually she is a wonderful gal I ever met. Shez the perfect combination of beauty + brain. And one secret is that I am a BIG FAN of her, hope I cud be as talented as her. One more thng, she is a very gud writer too. Whenever I need her she always stay by my side. I just luv chatting wid her over phone. I do remember the days when we use to spend hours and hours chattin both of the net and over ph (sms thru). But now-a-days due to the loads of studies on her we hardly chat. Hope that golden day return soon. And fir mujhe Sashu ki smile bhi bahut pyaari lagti hain. Well hoping to meet soon. Atleast engagment n shaadi ke din toh invite karna mujhe.. Hehe. I just luv u and hope u never change urself. Just be the way u r. God provided her everything still she live so simple and proud of nothing, also don't show any attitude. I just luv her. Muahhhh.. She is not only friend but I consider her as my sister too..

I am worst at
I do like my speakers because, sometimes they come up with Billy Joel, singing "Uptown girl, She has been living in

an uptown world" & then it brings Sashlum, back in front of my eyes, straight from some peculiar looking memory

cells of my tiny brain. An absolute girl + considerable intelligence & an intransigent mind - those are the

ingredients that form Sash. Her awesome US accent can be read through her craps & scraps She writes awesome

poems that always take you to a different horizon & when it comes to love theory - errrgh !! ;)

The most interesting quality - her presence of mind - as in, presence of her mind.

A really cutie to talk to, rather speak to. If you like psychology, philosophy, astrology, painting, music, writing,

engineering, medicine, literature, sports then shes the best creature to speak to, possibly on this earth.. Trust me

on saying that !!!!

even Endless things have to end somewhere ! so putting an end here..

Cheers Kid

Priya
oNe PeRsOn WhO cOuLd ChAnGe YoUr WoRlD uPsIdE dOwN... aNd JoIn YoU tHeRe, JuSt To SeE iF yOu ArE dOiNg FiNe!

Winnie the Pooh
This kid makes me super happy!!! My soul sis.....and a true friend who has been there always.....am really glad to have u as a part of my life! Hum dono me fevicol ka mazboot jod hai...tootega nahi!

She is as fresh as a daffodil....
Brings warmth and brightness in your life as the early morning sun.....
Wipes ur tears away with loads of smiles...happiness and fun.....

She is an angel.....

Soumya...
When you think of Exuberance and life ,Sashu can never be far behind.Have been talking to her for quite some time and its just recently that I have found the true and honest soul inside...From her graceful dance moves to living the expressions she gives words to --She is at ease everywhere..In this world ,Talent doesn't come with simplicity, but it has, in form of her adding every facade of her activities with sheer brilliance.Glad to bump into someone so childishly friendly as well as deeply matured as Sashz...Hope you entertain as well as assure all of us with your natural-self and a never to fade off presence..

Live on..and Shine on your crazy diamonds Miss.

SoUmY@

sonal
sash .... a beautiful and totally unpretentious soul! she is a ray of bright and sparkling sunshine ... atleast for me ... brightens up my day!!! love talking to her!!! totally in awe of the way she writes!!! [and i know sumone's blushing to the roots right now :D] i dont know how we got talking ... but i'm really glad we did!!! i love chatting with her ... a beauty with a heart of gold! so easy to love!!

you're a precious pear,l kiddo!!

really wonderful to have u as a part of my life!!!

ps - am hoping we can meet soon ... and ya, the icecream date is on!!!! u can take the brat off my hands nytime u want :D

Д§Κ ®ยเ§™
: •.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•Everyone should have•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•a friend like you•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•You are so much fun to be with•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•And you are such a good person•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•You crack me up with laughter•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•And touch my heart with your kindness•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•You have a wonderful ability•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•To know when to offer advice•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•And when to sit in quiet support•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•Time after time•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•You've come to my rescue•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•And brightend so many•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•I've realized how fortunate•.¸¸.•♥´¨`
•.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸ •.¸¸.•having a friend Like u •.¸¸.•♥´¨`♥•.¸

ChEtHaN
ivaloru boologa kallathiyaaaa

ChEtHaN
evale enikku valiyaishtamaanu.....

A r j u n: when i was falling, you gave me wings
when i drowning, you made me swim,
when i was choking, you breathed my life back,
and when i was living, indeed, you made it loving.

Hope I can find: Bacchi meri....life's fun cz ur around....am blessed to have you as a part of my littlle invisible world....Love you always

A r j u n: There is one song, which I believe summarizes everything I want to say about her...

She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me
She can lead you to love, she can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth, but she'll never believe
And she'll take what you give her as long it's free
Yeah, She steals like a thief, but she's always a woman to me
She never gives out
And she never gives in, she just changes her mind
And she'll promise you more than the garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you and laugh while you're bleeding
She's frequently kind and she's suddenly cruel
She can do as she pleases, she's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted, she's earned her degree
And the most she will do is throw shadows at you,
But she's always a woman to me...

Love you, my crazy mate,to death & yeahh dreamz do come true sweetz...

KaMnA: at times i m so puzld wid d muzls muzes magnanamos masqued monarchies munching milestones in dis material ethereal surreal dat a twit-wit verbose(as dey say) larynx as me...fails to xpress ma own heart..
n dis is wtz hapnin right now...a real rare occassion though...

wel one fine day i wake up to find one imp thing..
presence a sudden one of a sweet sugar sacchrified n sanctified soul in ma life..
i start sharing serious confidences wid her...she in turn sows seeds of smiles hopes concern console charm..n a lot more...
i cant put nything precise n perfect to return optimal..
al i hav iz gratitude n pride.

thanx for being you..

ppl as u are born to outshine...

God bless ya wid d choicest blessinz..n abundances..
May dat smile on doz lips iz evr integrating..

no way i l let u go...lol

(lemme also thank dat dear very dear soul..dat made u..dis reachable for me...love ya loads mate..)

Nisha : life takes confusing turns n shes d one whom i can turn back alwz n pour out......
hey am confused wid lyf..missin ya wen important decisions are to be taken...
hey guys its all between us and not a word let out...i trust her to dat extnd...shes my best buddy 4 lyftym.....luv ya my saj .......

J@zz: walking down t/h memories,
i see a little girl wid whom i started my friendship in class IV
2gather we grew, we learned, n as time passed by we bcame best frndz
those dayz ,those momentz thy r the happiest time in my life
we wer 2gather for all the mischief under the sun!!!!
WE WER THE BEST!
Bt as yrs passed by n we needed 2 chose our life,our career we bcame miles apart
bt still when I need a frnd , when i feel lonely,when i need sumone the most
she was ther 2 lend me a hand n pull me up wid a heart whole of luv n care
n WE R THE BEST IN THIS WORLD
Thank u dear for being ther 4 me. miss u !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hari(sh) Imagine cuddling with delightful dreams in the cradle's comfort, fancy fear staring straight at you from the grave's depths, picture the head being given a heave even as the heart gets hoisted high. Utterly unreal experiences. Read her to feel them for real. Dunno what else she has but do know that she has a wand in her hand that works wonders with words and a trove in her head full of thoughts to treasure. Wishing her to unearth a wealth from life. And thanks for the special scrapping sessions here in orkut. Thumbs up to Sasha!

niña del dios
Completely crazy like me....no wonder we gel !! Prolific poet...and a complete sweetheart...talking to her is always a de - stressing experience! Our talks range on absolutely unimportant topics ….and have no significance to whatever is affecting the world presently! Lol…just wanna say…lets carry on this craziness….as it keeps us healthy and fit !!Love ya loads....just be the same sweet u.....!! Mwaaah!

neha
Her name exhibiting loveliness,
& she's a typify of prettiness.

Melodic sounding
and writing couplet
with attractiveness.

Fanatical for DolphinSSS
brimming with wittiness & cuteness,
Simple,
yet, in stylishness.

She is our chum,
our "Sweetened SASHU"

"CHEERS"

Maulik
Well…
Sometimes I feel that earth is not actually round, because in this big world I am not attached with my natives properly…I thought how two persons, who are too far from each other, can not maintain any relationship…
But when I joined Ah, Poetry-community ah lots of angles are added in my life…
SASHU…a lovely soul and a great poet too…A girl with some extra soft heart and the softness you can feel in her writes…I know her since I joined the community but the bond between us is became stronger now… we have started from "HI" and we are at "KYA BE KAISI HAI"..So you can figure out…Yah I am a big fan of her…Every of her write is full of silent messages and they will help you for sure…She is a great motivator too…
Her simplicity and hospitality is awesome...She will always there with her 32 when you really need her...
And always there with her favorite word “LOLZ”…he he…
Hey SASHU thanks for sharing your pages with us…
Be the same for me always…
Be happy….
Always sparkles…

Piyush
Sashu.......well her writes prompted me to write this testi...!
Everytime u try to read her...you will find something different.......but still a common soul in her writes that tells about her uncommon way to look at things............definitely one of the most brilliant writers in this social network.........at this young age she had acheived a lot.......which a normal person like me can only think about...............
I don't know how she does it...but always takes me by surprise by her writes.......but tell you what sashu.......i was very much afraid when I've sent u friend req....as i thot....you wud surely turn it down..........but people after few mins...there was a scrap in my scrap buk....."How r u piyush???"....!

surely she is SACHIN TENDULKAR of our comm....(AH! Poetry),she cud use words at her wish........and a very friendly indeed.....!

and only thing we share in common is that we both are great fans of Deepika padukone.......!

GOD BLESS.........waise yeh HIR ki fav line hai.........!

ChEtHaN
Well..Shez the sweetest among my few friends..Funny female with an extra edge 4 pep talk..She can go on and on and on till eternity...Highly boisterous and affable....She wuz just a mere acquaintance for me at school 4 a couple of years..But now after a couple of years i jus cant stop talkin 2 her.Im kickin myself for not talkin to her earlier.Im sure shez thinkin dat 2 hehe..A small silence from her side can rip an absyss in my heart(U LISTENIN??)..She sure has lots of fans followin her but shez a fan of mine(oh cmon!!)..Its been ages since i met her but dunno y, i get this feeling that shez always there near me n i c her thru her messages n voice..Im sure u enjoyed the whole testimonial U reshamiya fan(sheesh)...Anyways b wat u r KEEP SMILIN

Pathik
Sasha,Sashu,Sash, this cute and bubbly gal next door whom I refer to by many names has got many traits to her personality also. I've known her for quite some time now and I have simply been stumped by her enthusiasm for life, bindaas attitude, care and compassion for the people she knows. Yup, our meeting was accidental and she never really believed that we culd be great friends, but then she proved herself wrong and stood by me during a very difficult phase of my life and I believe, she'll always stand by all her friends. May God Bless u Sashu.

Rahul
Sashuuu....
A cute Teddy bear loving girl. My lovely cousin...

Shal....
Tineeee wineeeeeeee angel
That’s sashu

Always giggling, a joy to be around with, its infectious her laffter catches u , be aware hehheh
A very warm heart, full of love
Firstly I m so glad u missed ur bus, cud cu again hehehheheh.
Secondly our giriliiiii shopping is still pending so cu again gal

Usha
And what do I say about this sweet soul, who I haven't even met, but who is now family to me? Its not just the spontaneous wit, not just the uninhibited concern and support, not just the lively repartees, not just her deep, emotional and moving poetry...not just this, but so much more ... her innate, inner beauty, which I don't need eyes to see [hehehe K-paxian!!] which make her so very special :)!! Truly, a daughter to be proud of, though I may only claim to be her Virtual Mom..hehehe!
Sashu, for me is like the daughter I would have had, I'm sure, and who I have found too!!!
Thank you Sash...for being You!!:)

mona: Jab dil hota hai udhaas, mit jaati hai jeene ki aas,
To kaun hota hai aapke dil ke bilkul paas?

Jab aasan raasta lage mushkil, jab namumkin lage Manzil
Tab kaun badaaye hausla, dikhaye safalta ki aas?

Jab Humsafar chod jaaye saath, tod de har kasam, har baat
Tab kaun dikhaaye raasta, kaun bataaye aapki pareshaniyo mein haath?

In sab haalaton mein wahi insaan saath deta hai
Jo aapki aur sirf aapki khushiya chahta hai
Sirf wahi insaan saath deta hain,
Jo aapki har choti se choti baat par bhi gaur karta hain.
Mere dost aise waqt par sirf ek dost hi dost ki madad karta hai

Sirf Ek Dost hi Ek Dost ki madad karta hai.
Warna agar dost hi na honge

To Phir Begaani is duniya mein to, apno ne bhi saath choda hai
Magar mere apno ke roop mein sirf mere doston ne saath nibhaaya hai…………

nikhil
sash..
i have known her for a long time now.i have seen her as a cute li'll toddler to the lovely lady she is now..we have sort of grown up together i might say..though time had brought a parting of ways in between, am glad i found her once more..she is like family now to me n my parents alike..she is a lovely young soul..someone so sweet who can never hurt a soul knowingly..someone who cherishes friendship 4 life..with her bubbly attitude n eversmiling grace she will always be there to keep u cheered up..she is full of fun..a beautiful maiden with a heart of gold..am glad i rediscovered her..maybe there is indeed sumthing known as destiny..

sash,i hope you would remain the same ever...a wonderful angel!

keep smiling.. i wish you life's very best...all joys and dreams of yours...every hope...every aspiration..i wish them all!

sash..

juz two words to define u..

simply awesome!!

'DARK KNIGHT'
hmmmm..
sashu..the name it self suggests attitude..so is the nature of this sweet gal..haha
yes..sashu has the perfect amount of attitude,sweetness,caring,and friendship qualities embedded within her ..
She is a hidden talent...
She writes so good poems that makes one glued to her writes..
I would describe this person by using this phrase.."Beauty With Brains"..
Beauty - because she is very beautiful as a person..
Brains - because she is good in studies too and is in the field of medicine..
The thing that I like in her the best is the language which she uses to scrap or while chatting..she prefers z instead of s..haha..sounds so cool!
Lady u r a complete rocker..
Being ur friend,I have some authority over u..I would be very upset on ur failure and on the other hand would pat ur back on ur success..
I hope the friendship between us continues until this Knight turns in to ashes..
There is so much to say ,but I end this by saying..
Lady,Dark Knight is your fan...

Arun
Sash chechi!! Well ..she’s ma reeli sweet- nice -beautiful –bold-poetic- sister…. Now u can guess dat she’s an institution by herself!! Well…she’s all that and much more…a great human being.. someone who’s known to do good thigns ….even thought I don’t know her much in person, these knowledge of mine bout her are spot on for sure!! Coz goodness in her can be read so easily…. Reeli caring n warm…. Well, her specialities…there r lots of it I guess…but topping in da list is her poetry exploits…..awesome mind boggling one’s she penned down in so short a span!! Hats off to you!! I hope that one day u go on to become an Arundathi Roy, some great day!! Well.. all in all, sash chechi is simply gr8!! Keeping jotting down more poems chechi!!! It’s juss too good!!! And yes…..please do stay your same sweet self!!!

Amitesh
S.A.S.H.U
S = You are very broad-minded.
A = You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind.
S = You are very broad-minded.
H = You are not judgmental.

thts how sashu is...a very cute adorable friend..bout whom i came to know through orkut..
now we share great frndshp...she is trustworthy...hard working....expert in pulling others legs.....so be aware.....enjoys freaking out with friends...and is a type of person who can bring smile on your face....she posses a very cute smile....the smile which can take anybody's sadness away...and her one smile can make ur day...so u make out hw wonderful her smile is...she can never see her friends in trouble or problem...and always ready to help them out....but never try to hurt her or mess up with her...is she gets angry...u will have to pay for it.....anywaz..don't even try to hurt my sweet cute frnd....or u will have it from me also........
Good to have u as my frnd....
hope we share a everlasting frndshp

alwaz keep smiling

mona: She is most lovely gal I have ever met. I don't have any sis. but she filled that space in my life. She always act maturely and is very understanding gal. In 4 yrs. of our friendship, meine bas ek hi baar iss gussa hote hue dekha hai (don't wanna disclose that). She is sweet, innocent and mature too. I love her life style. I advice is always of millon dollars. Woh baat aur hai ki kabhi-kabhi mein bhi isse advice deti hoon. Hehe. And u know what????? I just love her long hair (pehele chote the).
Sashu itna theek hai na? Ya aur do-char jhuti tareef kar do? Hehe....

Rahul
MY SWEET COUSIN!

Heylo Couzin! She is one of the weirdest person I have come across, a testimonial to that is simply the fact that she ditched her Orkut account with over 220 friends and 3000 scraps and is back starting from square 1. But tell you something, she aint that dumb. She has a wonderful sense of humor (??) and a fantastic attitude to keep people cheered up.

Ask her anything about the medical world and she will come on top, always keeps herself informed. But then, the glitch is if you choose to ask her anything related to the computer world. Id rather not tell you the degree of ignorance, but its really appreciable that she is keen to listen and learn those. She is the class topper, and has all the staff in her kitty. I guess she has a lot of fans in college.

The sweetest part of her is that she loves her teddy bear very much, actually she cant live without it, btw, she wont be too pleased at me exposing her childish side. Just a lovely human being, and glad that I found her as my "cousin".

Nisha
sash...she s my best friend from 11th std.shes simply d best ...real caring,loving...n what not...but real mischevious at times...v made a gr8 company,along wid sruti...THE NSS..she can v wel understand u wen u lie to her....she is a typical scorpio wid an xray vision so BEWARE...lots of fans around al the time...

lovingly v cal her chats{chattambi kalyani..hi!hi!}.v 2gethr had been a part of many blunders which none other than us kno....she had been the leader in "side aakifying" people..real funny are those memories....

she has alwaz been a booster for increasin my confidence....but stil she is a blunder queen..for eg...v {nss}ne'er used to listen to maths classes...sittin at the bak v used to play lot f pranks...she even got cot for eating herWONDER CAKE during max clas...aakra chats..

even thou the 3 f us do notty things... n laff al the time she escapes evry time n poor me used to get cot alwaz....lucky her n poor me..

v had alot of fun in school.i love her as u c shes simply d best...

arun gopalkrshna
well well......not 2 write her a testi wld b a crime really .....especially after da 2 sweet 1c dat she gave me.......lets c nw......have knwn her since a long time nearly 6 yrs as da records put it...............till 2 day she is been wid me through gud times and bad......shes a sweet heart .....da only gal 2 understand me so inside out.......there somethin abt her dat makes her a real dahlin........my bst frnd 2 date and 4 evah more.......runnin out f words man....lemme tell u dat i aint never gonna leave by6 ur side dear.....tc.....luv ya

arun

priya
sash..my early school mate is a stylish girl and is very very talkative..when she starts talking, u'd hardly get a chance to speak even a word..a sweet girl to be with..i have kind of enjoyed my days with her.the funny blunders she makes..its hilarious..i still laugh over ur silliest of blunders..she is knwn for her silly acts of innocence..highly active in school functions yet always a topper..i have learnt a lot from u..esp as to what blunders not to make ever..hehe..missin u sash..wishing u all the very best in life..i know u have a long way to go..wishing u the best of all..

Running Away...

2007-11-29T01:07:00.000-08:00

I know that I could possibly go wrong. But still, I know I have to do this. There's no one to possibly call for a help. Am all alone, in this ugly little world. I toss and turn on my bed, unable to gain sleep. The night is at my calling. Its tonight that I break off the shackles and step out. Finally, my eyes seem to droop. I hope I can refresh myself before I...

"TRINGGG TRINGGGG" the alarm buzz!

"Mom... lemme sleeeeeeeeep" I uttered incoherent words in the sleepy haze. But then, springing awake, as though a sharp shiver passed through me, I checked the time displayed on my watch :"2.00am" it shone in its fluorescent glow. Quickly I got out of the bed, slipped into my casual jeans and shirt, rolled up the sleeves, stuffed in my jacket to my already packed bag.( had been smart enough to pack my bag last night.) It had an ample supply of water, a pack of biscuits I had sneaked out of the kitchen cabinet, some clothes, my prized possession of comics, a torch and a booklet with my dad's pen and finally, about 10 pounds from my mom's new pouch! Strapping on the backpack and slipping on my sneakers, I tip toe out, out of my pretty little villa, on the suburbs of Southampton...

The breeze seems strong today, I muttered to myself. Darkness seem to gnaw at me. Yet I feel no fear. Nothing holds me back. No regrets. Finally I am away, away from the prying eyes. I walked on, brisk. The dawn seemed especially beautiful. It was the very first time I were witnessing one. Walking on, I saw the luscious green lawns, the garden park I often pass by on the way to the major hospital in Southampton. I looked at my watch. Time showed 5am. I have been walking for the past three hours I realize. My legs seemed to ache, and my throat dry. I sat down, near a tree. Leaning over the tree, I took out some water and gulped it down in sheer desire.

It seemed I had enough time to rest. Planning to catch the first bus to the city, I sat, dreaming. The birds seem to be awake, just like me. Chirping in glee, or is it mockery, I wonder? Roses seem to bloom, for I could smell the fragrance. I wonder what would have been happening , had I not left the wretched place, where none cared for me... Listening to the lullabies of nature, I slipped away into a dead slumber...

"Get up, young lady. You sure gave your folks a fright" I could hear someone say to me, in my dreams...Paying no heed, I slept on... I could feel someone shaking me up, and with all frustration I open my eyes... Lo! Where am I? My mind still in a daze... And I looked up to find two young uniform clad cops, peering at me! Amazed, I couldn't help but wonder, why are they here? And where the hell am I?

" Who are you? And whats wrong?" I manage to ask.

" Hey, running away from home ain't a nice thing to do. Now get up and come along. I shall ring up your folks to come and fetch you home " he quipped.

Beaten, disheveled, I looked on at the white British face. Despair filled me to the brim. My first day away..And lo! Am caught, pushed back to the old life. Words failed me. And i didn't want to cry. So i mustered up the courage to move on. Sitting in the police car (it had been a long time dream of mine) I couldn't make myself smile, on having my one wish come true...Well, this wasn't the way I wanted it to be, though...

"Come on along..." he said. And I walked along, timid, and sad. Being offered a comfortable chair, and a provision for breakfast, he moved on towards the telephone.. Soon, I was to be whisked off, back to my world... I lost my appetite, despite being famished... Well, the biscuits have vanished, I know. Yet I felt hungry. growing age, I suppose. I gulped down the fresh orange juice and waited, for the arrival...

"Babyyyyyy...How you got us scared! Am so glad you are okay," words of relief sprang from my dad. After profusely thanking the officer, he held my hands, leading me to the car. I smiled and waved a bye to the young cop. He was golly good actually...Offered me cookies and juice... Nice chap!

Sitting next to me in the car, he turned to look at me. I smiled rather sheepishly, I guess. He told me its the worst thing for a third grader to be doing. Running away from home! Smiling at me, he said " Alright, off you go morrow' for the little school trip of yours. Just promise me, no mischief and no more running away. You are all we got, my little one"

"Okayyyyy..I promise, dad. By the way, was it fun, hunting for me?" I ask, grinning all the way through!

"Fun?!?!? Haha...Very! Wait till you get home. Have called up your mom to make you some chocolate brownies. Now, tell me, is home that bad?"

"Wowie... brownies..." I quip, excited...

"Dad...."

"Hmmm...What is it sweetheart?"

"Cant you drive a bit faster??????? " I ask, innocent as a dove, yet mischief clouding my eyes...

"Haha...You sly little devil.. See, I did tell you, home ain't that bad..."

Laughing all the way we moved on... I guess dad is right... Maybe home doesn't seem so bad after all ;)

The special lady...

2007-11-15T04:22:00.000-08:00

On my way back home, I saw a lady, in the bus. She seemed like a frail old lady, off to see her grandchildren or so. Her smile was genuine and her eyes were so full of expectations. Am an observer by nature. So I couldnt help, but notice her darned old saree, yet starched and well kept! Her hands were sore, yet held the strength that her eyes hid.

I found myself weaving stories about the lady stranger. She had the grace and charm of someone who has been powerful and enigmatic in her youth. She was not the feeble kind who just gave up on life, when something went wrong. Maybe she stayed alone, as suggested by her travelling alone. Or maybe she left behind her husband, for a small stay at her children's place. Either ways, she was alone. Yet she wasnt sad about it, am sure. Either a calm acceptance of the situation or else a long stint of being alone. It was either of those, I convinced myself.

I looked up at her once again. Age had beautified her grace.Her wrinkles shone of wisdom profound. Her eyes had the depth of experiences. Her grey hair added to her charm. It made her even more grand than ever. I found her hands fumble, foraging through her tiny vanity bag of the 70's. I felt curious as to what exactly was she rummaging for. And then, she held a small book, and started to sift through the pages. I found the book to be tiny black leather bound Bible. Her face seemed brilliantly lit up, a newly found light calming her. I felt strange, watching the lady in solitude.

Soon, my cellphone started to ring. And I slipped into a world of my own. After a while, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned and to my surprise, I found the old lady near me, smiling. Her eyes showered such warmth and I felt myself special. She smiled, her hands still on my shoulder, patting me. And said "God bless you, my child"!! Not another word, she moved away. I felt shaken, and before I could offer even a thanks, she had got down from the bus, leaving me bamboozled.

I got down and walked home, my mind still in a daze. A feeling of absolute incredulity hung itself over me. Yet I knew no feeling could be as genuine as the warmth and care, the old lady's gesture filled me with. I havent met her ever after. But somehow, the aura of her, still remains brilliantly lit, in me...