A Call That Never Came; And A Call That Never Ceased To Come...!

Posted by Sashu... at 12:35 PM

Ever misunderstood. Never valued. His mind whirled, pausing at these often. Why was it that she never understood? Or, why wouldn't she even try to? He had no answers. It wasn't the first week of their relationship. It has been years, and yet why did he have to go trough the same round of cajoling and wooing, all over again, every time over again? It irked him.

Yes it did irk him, to no extent. But, not for the hours wasted, and not for the silliness. But for the reason that she never could accept him, or his love. She needed him like a drug - day in, day out. Not that he complained. But a little space, some alone time; thats all that he ever asks for. But then, things turn nasty, with all those tears flowing in. And his heart would melt, as though he could hold no more. And no matter what, he'd be on his knees, begging apology for her mistakes!

Lame, it all sounded to the listener. Stupid, it felt to the passive bystander. But he knew, there was more to it. He felt responsible at times. Maybe he fell short of her expectations. Maybe she wanted more. A lot more of maybes surrounded him, strangulating him. Why was it that the male brain's pride of sharp objectivity eluded him, whenever he thought of her? He had no answers.

The cellphone rang. He picked up her call, his mind still wandering on.

"Eh? Hmmm...Yeah..."

"What?"

"Hmmm...What where you saying?"

"Now what? What did I do?"

"Hey...Listen..."

Slam! Not again, he cursed under his breath. He could not understand why she had to hang up on him, for no reason. What was it this time, he wondered. Should he call back, or not, he debated. The idea of listening to the same old insecurities and the same old complaints did not lure him. He reached for his lap top and decided to surf the net.

He had dozed off. Startled by the call, he reached over and answered her. She seems normal, he thought. Maybe I needn't remind her of our morning call, he said to himself. He tested the waters asking of her day. She seemed not to be in her usual spirits, he gathered.And he decided to hang up before the fire starts, all over again.

"Listen dear, I have my exams coming up. I guess I'll go learn now. Was sleeping. Haven't studied anything..."

"You okay? Call me if anything. Take care"

Having hung up without a fight, he felt relieved. Grabbing his books, he walked over to his room. He felt calm. She remained as a faint backdrop to his memory, while his mind wandered through the books to the friends and the many million things that mattered to everyone of his gender. He placed his cell phone at an arm's distance though.

He knew that call would never cease to come!
.
.
.
She smiled to herself, as she woke up to a fresh new morning. She leaned to grab hold of her cellphone, hoping to find his text or a call she missed when he'd called while studying late night. None. It did prick her a little. Always did. But she shrugged it off her mind, deciding he must have been so engrossed in his studies. And mollified, she dialed his number. The silly goose was still sleeping, she mused to herself. Finally he picked up. Sleepyhead! He seemed irked at her waking him up, that too after half past eleven. Abrupt; almost rude. She couldn't help show off her frustration. She hung up, listening to his promise of calling back once he was showered and all ready for the day..or what remained of it.

She danced her way through the day. Awaiting his call, that never came. She tried hard to resist the urge to pick her phone and dial his number through. Time flicked by. With nothing left to do, she rang him up.

"Hello..Why didn't you call back?"

''What? Hmmm...Yeah? Tell me..."

"Great. Now you ask me what? Wonderful"

"I can't believe it. Cant you even listen to what I am saying?'

"Oh..Forget it."

Slam! Her eyes watered, she felt disappointed. Maybe he was fed up of her. Maybe he didn't care anymore. Her mind speculated various reasons for this daily behavior. She could reach no conclusion. Maybe I am overreacting, he must have been busy with something, or there was some network trouble so that he did not hear with clarity; she debated with her conflicting thoughts. Maybe she keeps over-reacting, she thought. Deciding to give him some alone time, to cool off, she waited.

Time flicked by. She had found him active on his website an hour back. He still hadn't called her back. She decided to toss her ego out, and give him a call. He seemed guarded, she felt. She tried to ignore the cold aloof talk of his, and began to chatter away. But she was interrupted, almost too abruptly.

"Ohhh...Gonna study? Okay.."

"Aha...Okay..Go and study...No issues"

Slam! She felt the resentment rising in her.Sleep! Relax! Surf the net! Alone time! He could spend hours doing all that. But when ever she would begin a conversation, his mind would wander, and all off a sudden, he'd get this urgent need to study, to learn! She never understood that. She never believed she would, too.

She grabbed her copy of "Only Love" and read through...Her eyes never could resist peeking over for a text or a call.

A call, that never came.

 

Newer Post Older Post

Labels