Timeless Reflections!

Phew!! I am just back after attending another of those Big Fat Kerala Weddings!

Being relatives(Huh! Don't get me started with the pedagogy though, It'd eat up the entire space here!), I couldn't make up excuses to skip this one. Not that I didn't try. Even tried enacting a scene out of Tom Sawyer's life, feinting sick. But even my 65 year old grandma is too smart for her age! She just wouldn't budge. So with no way out, I gave in, for the slaughter.

The wedding was held at Ashirwad lawns, one of the best auditoriums of our city. (Well...Why the heck am I typing out the details, as if you'd care :D ) Anyways, I reached there a good 2 hours early. Courtesy my grandma, who has a certain specialized form of OCD( Obsessive compulsive disorder)where she'd get ready hours and hours before time, and worst of all, expect the same out of me too.And you must have guessed by now,I am just darn lazy. But when she gets into one of those moods, there's no way out. Today being one of those days, I didn't even try to coax her out of it. And we ended up arriving along with the catering team, and the decoration agency. And had the best times of life inviting the bride's family in! How gross, nay?

I didn't keep my mouth shut, all the while nagging my grandma. But pretty soon, the scenario changed. And I got to be the victim. Came into scene, all the aunts and great aunts, whose sole interest seemed to be me and my wedding plans. God! I wonder, don't these ladies have nothing to do? The silly remarks and all the teasing and taunting that seemed no a less torture than being force fed poison, they never left me at peace! Some seemed to be walking marriage bureaus, stunning me with proposals all the time we came face to face! I tried to fake grand smiles and even tried my hand at giving the typical *shy-gonna be-bride* smiles!! Phew! I could have choked one of them, for sure!

As though I hadn't had enough, there came in the rush of all uncles and wise old men. Their interest basically revolved around my parents. To be exact, the very fact that my parents weren't present for the wedding. Now, how could someone expect dad to come down all the way to India, just to attend his wife's great aunt's son's daughter's husband's sister's daughter's wedding??? Beats me, truly! I managed to give in sympathetic nods and *yeah-i-couldn't-have-agreed-more* looks!! Another breed wanted to know of the current health scenario, and the income prospects after my graduation. What the heck? If I had some clues, I'd be doing something worthwhile than attending this wedding!!

Somehow, I managed to move into the dressing room, where sat the dainty bride! God!! I literally had a fright seeing her! She couldn't have been made up to look worse than this. The layers and layers and layers of make up made her seem like an alien! And all the glittering gold! Pity, the girl couldn't walk proper, weighed down by all that gold! I stood watching her in awe. The very fact that she seemed to be enjoying it made me go bonkers! Beats me, how one could tolerate this show off parade?!?! Gives me creeps, this kinda attitude!!

I walked away and managed to find a chair away from the horde of relatives. Several rows behind, I sat with people who seemed to be mere acquaintances of the groom's family. Lucky me! I didn't have to endure more of the "Oh! Its time for your wedding dear? You'd prefer an engineer in the US? I have just the perfect guy for you!" and "Oh, you look so lean! Mom's not even bothered, is it poor gal? Come over to aunts house, I'l fatten you up" (As though I needed more of fat over me...Yucks!)conversations! I did manage to catch in snippets of conversations here and there, regarding estimations of the bride's gold, the umpteen faults with the wedding arrangements and comparisons with previous wedding bashes!!

I just have no idea how I managed to endure the hours spent in the freak place! Finally, it was time to leave and I just uttered a silent prayer!!

Thank God!!!!!! No more of these Big Fat Weddings, please!!!!!