Rape...

Posted by Sashu... at 3:28 AM

I just went through the post by IHM regarding the trivialization of sexual abuses against women. It is indeed so pathetic, the fact that our society can still laugh at sexual abuses, and even worse, find a sadistic pleasure in victimizing the ill-fated. "Inviting trouble", " Provocative Dressing" - phrases to justify the heinous crime of sexual abuse? I fail to understand, why does the society pay no heed to the serious offense against women? Why does it become a social stigma, to fight for oneself and one's rights and ideals? The so called educated people would rather ignore and avoid facing such an issue. Imagine the fate of those people in the rural areas of the country, where exploitation is almost like a routine incident. Pathetic, ain't this society where we dwell in? I know that typing out a few words of disgust and anger, doesn't help. But, maybe, it can give a perspective to someone who hasn't thought of this ever. Someone who's been lucky enough to have never come across this. And for the sake of public awareness, I'd like to share a true event, that I have been destined to witness.

Being a part of the medical fraternity, I have come across quite a lot of cases of sexual abuses, brought into our Hospital. Some, that have been out in public, and some, that hasn't. It was in the third year of college, during a ward posting at OBS-GYN, that I came across a case of brutal rape. The victim ( I shall call her K), K, a child of mere 11, was brought into the ER, with a case of severe injuries. I remember being there, witnessing the entire procedure. Her frail little body was torn apart, by the brutal assault by her 71 year old grandfather. The girl was brought in unconscious, with abrasions and concussions all over. We were at a loss initially, not knowing how to handle something so traumatic. We were just required to take case history and stuff, as a part of our curriculum. But watching, was traumatic enough.

The entire medical evaluation took a few hours. For, the lesions and bruises had been severe. Apart from genital injuries , the extra genital injuries included a broken rib and acute pancreatitis. After hours of cleaning and stitching up, she was moved into the Post-Operative ICU. I remember going to the canteen after the procedure, to have something to drink. But none of us ever uttered a word, nor could we even take a sip of water. The terror and the trauma, we suffered witnessing the event, is still fresh. I still remember the events so sickening.

After a week, she was moved to the general ward, and for the first time I saw her conscious, during one of the rounds with the residents. We, the students, are required to select a few cases according to our preference and take detailed a case history of each- which includes the personal history of the patient, the symptoms, conditions, vital stat tests and then come to a conclusion regarding the diagnosis and the treatment. And in most cases, there erupts serious fights for any case out of the ordinary. It was just the same here too. Every student wanted this case, and the constant ruthless questioning and re accounting of the traumatic events made some of us sick. Finally, after a lot of conversations(read- cat fights), we managed to stop these sessions of torture. As though she could tolerate more of trauma, esp by the so called healers.

I know that the physical injuries fade away with time. But what of the acute mental and emotional damage, that has befallen upon the victim, a child, no more than 11. The age when one learns, and builds one's personality and future, has been snatched away from this little girl.And the one who she had trusted to be family, has ripped away her self respect, her dreams, her future. And yet, she has to go back to the rat hole, as though, nothing ever happened. How sick, is that?

K, told some of us that she wants to go back to school, and that her mother has asked her to forget the event, and go back to the very same house where her grandfather stays. I couldn't utter a word. How is anyone expected to forget such an incident? How could anyone wipe it away? And worse, how could any mother ask her child to walk right back into danger? Despite the counseling sessions and the promise of help by NGO's, the mother refused to move K out of the house. And, I remember having to watch the little girl leave hospital after a few weeks, with the same insane and inhumane, pervert S-O-B grandfather(Can't help the abusive language. Animals like him can't be addressed as anything but that). I still can't forget the look on her face, when she was leaving the hospital.

For those wondering, a case was indeed registered by the police. But the victim and her family never agreed to file a case, in person though.

Some of these experiences makes one lose all faith in humanity, if something of that sort, ever does exist. But after a while, everything sinks back into the hidden folds of memory. And none but the victims, would remember something of this sort had happened, once. That is I guess, human nature... And despite of all the guilt and anger I'd felt then wasn't reminded of K, until today, when I read IHM's post. And, once again that guilt and hurt, has surfaced. But I know, sadly, it wouldn't last long.

Shameless, ain't we??

 

Labels:

14 comments

Anonymous  
February 5, 2009 at 6:48 AM

Is that woman her mother??!!! How can a mother do that...take her back to stay in the same house with that monster?? Reading this was itself traumatic. I can't imagine the condition of the girl or that of those of you who had to see her, listen to her and help to put her back together.
The society is sick and so are the people who use terms such as 'provocative dressing' 'she asked for it' and 'inviting trouble' What trouble could children invite?? And still they are abused and raped by those who should be there protectors!!

Usha Pisharody  
February 5, 2009 at 6:53 AM

Terribly moved by this. I cannot even begin to think of how it must have been; the guilt transfers to us readers too.

Why are the men who are to "protect", falling into levels deeper than one can ever imagine? Why .. Why...!!!

And does any Ravan Sene want to do anything about all this? No they would rather keep these men right on their dominant position and subjugate women, so very much that they remain chattels!

Still, she is so so so young...

This is going to haunt, just reading...

Indian Home Maker  
February 5, 2009 at 8:21 AM

Thanks for sharing this. Adding you to my blog roll. Will come back to comment after that,

Indian Home Maker  
February 5, 2009 at 8:49 AM

Just wanted others to read it. I am trying not to think about this.
What kind of man would do this? And what made the mother go back to that same house? What about the father?
We have a great society that makes a mother allow something like this ...

I knew of a case where the man said it was the eight year old's fault because she was jumping on his stomach. He was given RI (rigorous imprisonment)...

Anonymous  
February 5, 2009 at 10:21 AM

Blog hopped from Indyeah. Just read few lines and it feels terrible.

Blog rolling you. Will come back in a bit.

Praveen  
February 5, 2009 at 11:19 AM

totally shocked to read that! These are days in which we read about 2 year old baby gals as well as 80 year old grandmothers being raped. Clouded by an insatiable hunger for sex and an 'I would never feel guilty' mindset, many abnormal men are on the prowl among us.
Punishments like the one given in Saudi should come here too. Rape should be seen on par with murder because it is an act which murders the woman mentally. We don't want anymore rapists walking free!

And , shame on that mother...!

Winnie the poohi  
February 5, 2009 at 12:56 PM

Sashu! Why should we feel the guilt?

Anger yes.. may be certain sense of purpose.. but dont u think the guilt has to be felt by that SofB!

I dont get this at all.. how is it that We have such rate of CSA and so less awareness..

I had once tried to start an awareness campaign.. my point was to make the children aware about the options.. they dont have to go to the family..

Infact if some wily NGO can take it up.. the police can remove the kid from the house..

The fact is.. no one is ready to take any responsibility! ever :(

Rakesh  
February 5, 2009 at 1:03 PM

ita a very sad part specially in our country....iam not denying that all these doesent happen elsewhere
but have seen rape cases in hign numbers in our country.

The fact is that its gets worst when people start blaming the person who gets raped for carelessness and things.
instead of nailing the convicted the police and politicians start playing the blame game and taking pot shots at eachother.

Anonymous  
February 5, 2009 at 9:29 PM

This was really brutal and quite an unfortunate thing to happen to the child at this young age. But i think the incidents like this, that you have shared is just a tip of the iceberg. It has been brought out due to the need of medical attention. Kids of this age or even less are seen as objects of sexual gratification is also an equal concern for us.

Most sexual abuses that children face are unfortunately from the close relatives and the ones who are close to the families. Kids are an easy pray for these frustrated people since they can be exploited easily.

The situation demands much mature reaction than wrath. Parents should be made aware that their kid might not be safe and secure with the people whom they trust. Since kids are the soft targets the assault might come from the most unexpected side, for example grand father in this case. And I am sure that this is not much thought about by many parents. I call upon your attention to this.

Indyeah  
February 5, 2009 at 11:51 PM

This was so traumatic to read!
What a disgusting grandfather!and the mother?there's a place in hell for people like her..
I cannot bear thinking of the little girl....she must be scarred for life and feeling so lost....why do human beings do this??

Aathira Nair  
February 6, 2009 at 12:17 AM

Women in Indian societies are so helpless. A mother can not even protect her daughter!

What can a man of 71 see in a girl of 11 years of age! I feel men like these should be medicated to not allow them an erection ever again!

Arun.N.M.  
February 6, 2009 at 10:25 AM

Good Post.Being a male doc I was asked to ascertain the sexual potency of many rapists.Shocking part is they all looked like normal people.

May be my following posts could be read along with this
http://malayalidoc.blogspot.com/2008/11/it-seemed-they-all-want-her-to-die.html
http://malayalidoc.blogspot.com/2008/12/it-seemed-they-all-wanted-her-to-die.html
http://malayalidoc.blogspot.com/2009/01/it-seemed-they-all-wanted-her-to.html

Anonymous  
February 8, 2009 at 11:34 PM

I wish i hadn't read this post :( your words convey the trauma you underwent,imagine that girls' state of body and mind,who even don't know what rape and sex is..

Closeguy  
February 26, 2009 at 10:10 PM

Very ..very sad to know the girl had to go with the same old pervert. It's not difficult to imagine what lies in her life ahead.
Soo sickening experience you had. I wish I could do something for the girl. The mom is b***** ...how can mother be like this?..some questions have no answer..true..

Newer Post Older Post

Labels